


Temporary Living Arrangement

by mySqueedilyspooch



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Daddy Issues, Fluff and Angst, Gaz is a lesbian, M/M, Original Character(s), Recreational Drug Use, Transphobia, ZADF, ZaDr, basically zim moves in bc he has no where else to go, dib is also a gay man, dib is trans, gaz is in a band, theres some mild nsfw later in the fic nothing explicit doe, they celebrate new years, zim learns how to be an individual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24444181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mySqueedilyspooch/pseuds/mySqueedilyspooch
Summary: “With nowhere left to turn, Zim finds himself taking desperate measures in his hour of greatest need. In doing so, he learns that he might not be the unfeeling drone he was created to be.”I’ve posted half of this once before but I didn’t like where I was going with it so I deleted the fic, made huge edits, and have finally finished it. This fic has been in the back of my mind for almost three months now and I am so excited to share it with you all! With each chapter update, I’ll be posting a piece of fanart pertaining to the chapter on my social media’s (you can find me on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr at inkgoblinz)
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 218





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> no warnings for this chapter just a few notes: yes Dib is trans, he probably began HRT as he hit puberty because his dad is all “transphobia is not very scientific”, i’m not great at describing tech stuff but i did my best, my friend Lu has been such a wonderful help with editing this fic please go follow them on Instagram they’re sundropcos ! lastly, a few things in later chapters were inspired by other IZ content creators so i will be crediting them when it comes up! hope yall enjoy, this fic is three months in the making!

The only thing giving the shivering Irken light in this pitch-black room were the few sparks igniting from fire against metal. The power had gone out two days ago, and Zim had been working tirelessly on the main power grid since then.

At first, he figured that it was the humans’ fault. On December 25th they had some pointless celebration and insisted to cover their dwellings in small, colorful lights. But even now, two days later, Zim’s base remained powerless, thus he realized there was an error in his Irken electricity stream.

He hacked away at the grid for hours, looking for the source of the issue, a solution, anything, but it had been all for not. The little green alien wore protective eyewear as he worked in the cold conditions. No power meant no heat against the winter weather, and Zim knew how fragile Irkens were too cold. He could manage without the light provided by the stream. Irk was a very dark planet, its people had grown to function without it. But warmth was very important. Irk was also very humid, and countless invaders had perished in the cold, harsh conditions of foreign planets. Finally, Zim hit a nerve on the grid, and light flooded the underground chamber. He took off his goggles and his antennae flicked in pride, but as soon as it had come back, the power went out again. Zim growled through a clenched jaw and he punched the floor.

“Computer, run a diagnosis!” He said, knowing that he would not get an answer. Zim was completely fried, not even the elevator was working. Defeated, cold, and exhausted, he pried the elevator doors open and used his PAK legs to crawl up the elevator shaft and exit out through his trash can porthole. Gir was preoccupied on the couch, trying desperately to turn the tv on by hitting the button repeatedly. Zim shivered, holding his arms close to his chest, and shoved himself into the other corner of the couch.

“Gir, you are going to break the remote,” He grumbled blearily. As he spoke, Zim could see his own breath in the cold.

“My toes are cold and I want to watch the monkey show!” Gir wailed.

“We have bigger issues at hand, Gir. I need to contact The Tallest and inform them of our power outage, but we can’t do so without a working console!!” Zim was angry, which was normal for him, but he was beginning to feel a little helpless. 

Gir nodded, then wondered absentmindedly, “If only someone nearby had a garage full of working Irken tech, maybe like, I dunno, an invader’s voot cruiser, we could use it to contact The Tallest and get our base working again!”

Zim’s eyes widened as the robot gave him an idea, then he groaned pathetically. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but this was the last thing he wanted to face.

When his classmates graduated from 8th grade three years ago, Zim felt no need to return to Skool at the end of the summer. He deemed the place useless for discovering information about humans since his earliest days of attendance, and Dib was nothing but a nuisance to him. At the very least, the boy kept him entertained, and maybe that was one of the reasons he bothered sticking around. He’d never admit that fact to himself though. So Zim made the mature decision to not return for 9th grade. 

Dib still pursued the alien after that, suspicious that he was up to something sinister during the school day. But slowly as the school year went on, the visits became less and less, until Dib didn’t bother interrogation at all. 

Zim had no reason to be bitter, yet the subject filled him with rage. With no more human schooling and Dib gone, he had no other reason to leave his base unless it had been for minor provisions and supplies. The Tallest began answering his messages less and less too until recently those stopped altogether as well. 

It had been a very hard period of time for Zim. All he really had was his computer and his robot to keep him company, but he tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter. He still had his mission. Once he fulfilled becoming supreme ruler of ‘Urth’, he would regain the admiration of The Tallest and, for the first time in decades, feel wanted. 

None of his plans were realistic though. He had ideas of taking down the government (this was shot down when he realized Earth had countless governments separated by counties), he thought of building a doomsday machine (which would kill all possible slaves), he even contemplated mindless murder (but that would take too long). There were days where Zim would just scrap whatever he was working on and try to pick up on hobbies or watch TV with Gir. 

His last call with The Tallest had been almost four months ago, which wasn’t horrible. Things were going pretty status quo until the power went out. He had hit rock bottom. It had been three years since Zim had seen the pink monkey alien, the stupid, smelly, useless Dib human, and he had no choice but to break into his house.

  
  
  


It’s almost laughable how easy it is to break into a human dwelling. All Zim had to do to get into the garage was blast the keypad, it completely fried the mainframe! But he had no time to laugh at the amusing inferiority of humans, he was on a mission.

Zim slinked into the stuffy darkness of the Membrane garage. Dib had a poor setup going, clearly using all of his stolen Irken tech incorrectly. Zim began examining anything that could be of use, picking up objects and fiddling with them. Tak’s old ship sat in the center, and once he found it, he got to work. He plugged in this and typed in that, hooking various equipment up to the ship. The engine whirred and Zim let himself crack a smile as he heard the familiar sound. But the small victory was short-lived as Tak’s voice rang out from the ship.

“Zim??? Ugh, no NO!! Get away from my SHIP, SCUM!!” The noise definitely wasn’t discrete enough for this operation.

“SILENCE!” Zim panicked, working quickly to disable the A.I.

Her voice died out as the clever Irken recoded the ship through its headboard, and soon the ship was completely restarted and ready to stream a transmission to The Tallest.

Zim’s finger hovered over the call button on the headboard and he hesitated. He hesitated because a small part of him already knew what The Tallest were going to say. He hesitated long enough for the door to open. Zim froze, eyes adjusting to the sudden indoor light. A figure stood in the doorway, shirtless and half asleep. Two scars rested on the figure’s chest, symmetrical and fading. The figure was also tall, upsettingly so, which made the realization even more shocking.

“Zim?? What are you—“ Dib frantically rubbed his eyes from under his glasses, trying to wake himself up more so he could be fully present for the situation. He looked conflicted.

Zim said nothing, he couldn’t get over how tall this human became. Sure, it’s been a while, but he hadn’t expected Dib to grow anymore. He also seemed to have filled out a little in his frame. He didn’t look as weedy as he did those years ago, and had an almost visible line of hair resting above his upper lip.

Dib grabbed whatever metal pipe was laying on his desk and held it at the ready. He had chosen what emotion to act on, and it was anger.

“What are you doing in my house? Where have you been all this time!?” Dib stepped forward, holding the rod menacingly.

Zim acted fast, drawing his laser gun. Dib’s eyes widened, looking taken aback. As small as Zim was, he was dangerous.

“Stay where you are, older, taller version of Dib. I am not here to fight. Allow me to call my leaders and you can go back to pretending that I don’t exist.”

“Yeah right, you call them and an alien armada shows up!” Dib paced towards Zim again, slowly.

“No, human, you don’t understand!” Zim backed up towards the control panel, both hands now on his gun. “I am desperate!!”

“I actually thought you had given up, I should have known you would stop at nothing to take over the planet! What have you been working on since you stopped coming to school, huh?? An army? A bomb??” Dib’s grip on the pipe tightened.

“You really know nothing, Dib-shit! Back up or I  _ will _ shoot!”

Dib froze and his eyes cut the tension like a knife. They darted from Zim’s gaze, his concentrated eyebrow, a bead of sweat on his temple, to his hands holding the gun, shivering from the cold and frozen in shock. Regardless of what Zim wanted, Dib knew he wouldn’t shoot him. He knocked the gun from Zim’s hands with the metal rod. Zim screamed from the sensation of metal against his knuckles and was tackled to the ground. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE AND OFF MY PLANET, YOU MONSTER!!!”

Zim was unsure what Dib was projecting onto him, but knew enough about this human to know that this anger was coming from somewhere else. What he was sure of, though, was how he hated how much taller Dib had gotten. As they wrestled on the floor, Zim felt unnecessarily small. Dib’s lanky limbs surrounded him like a cage of flesh. He needed The Tallest. Zim kicked both of his legs out, trying to hit Dib in whatever scars he noticed earlier, and the human recoiled with a pained squeal. He scrambled to his feet and reached into the ship. The computer spoke.

“Contacting The Tallest Now.”

Zim stood tall, trying to look brave. Dib hobbled to his feet, holding his chest, wheezing. A screen phased on in front of the two, and before them stood The Tallest in all of their glory, eating whatever snacks they had. Dib felt shock surge through his body. Nothing could ever really prepare him for seeing aliens, especially ones that were exponentially taller than the one he had grown used to.

“Tak? Is that you?? We thought you were dead!” Purple said as the signal cleared and the resolution of the call improved.

“My tallest! Thank Irk!” Zim allowed himself to smile.

“Wait, Zim???” Red squinted, “How are you calling us? Shouldn’t your power be out?”

“Well you see—Wait, how did you know?” Zim’s antennae flicked as he began to fidget with his hands, “This is the reason I’m calling you, the Irken electricity stream powering my base is out and I cannot proceed with my mission without it. Urth can get pretty cold, especially now towards the end of its solar orbit and as you know Irkens are more typically used to clammy and humid climates—“

“How did you reach us?” Red asked.

“Oh, simple, this Urth-Dib has Tak’s old ship in his possession,” Zim gestured to the human, who stared in awe. “I figured that it was charged on its own Irken power source so I would be able to reach you. Mine must be busted or—“

“Zim, ugh, listen,” Purple began. “We shut it off.”

Zim’s antennae fell to the side of his head, “What..?”

“Yeah, uhh, we were reading some old Irken laws, seeing what authorities we have as The Tallest that we didn’t know about. Turns out we can ‘deplete an invader’s power source if he or she is deemed incompetent,’ who knew, huh?” Purple cracked an awkward smile, “Needless to say, we didn’t want to say this to your face. You understand, right?”

“B-but, I am Irk’s finest invader!!!” Zim pleaded.

“No, Zim, you aren’t,” Red was fed up, “You weren’t during Operation Impending Doom 1, and you  _ never _ will be. We exiled you once, but you came back and begged for another chance, and we just wanted to get rid of you. We never needed Urth, I mean, you’ve lived there for the past couple years, look around. It’s a nothing planet! Did you really think our great empire could use it as an asset? We figured if we just shut off your power, you'd get the idea.”

“My Tallest, with all due respect, if I didn’t decide to call you and beg for assistance I would have frozen to death trying to fix it myself,” Zim said quietly.

“That would have worked too, I guess,” Purple shrugged.

Red spoke again, “This is mercy, Zim. We’re letting you spend the rest of your days on an alien planet. If you try to return, we’ll kill you. Don’t call again.”

They cut the transmission.

Zim stood in the silence of the garage, stupefied. Dib eyed the alien over carefully, not sure what his next move would be. Zim made a choked out noise, then faced Dib with a glare, marching over and baring his fangs, getting real close to the human’s face. He  _ hated _ how tall this human was. He hated how he was too clouded with self-fulfillment to realize the truth sooner. He hated how he might have known all along that Zim was a weak link, unneeded and unwanted. He was hateful, filled with rage, but had nothing to say to the human that stood before him. All he could do was growl, but Dib didn’t look scared. He looked  _ prepared _ to hear whatever Zim had to say to him. There was an almost empathetic glisten to his eyes. 

“Pathetic,” Zim scoffed. The legs from his pak deployed, and he scurried out the garage with whatever dignity he had left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so excited that you guys are enjoying this project so far! no warnings for this chapter, we’re still in exposition territory. also check out my instagram, tumblr, or twitter inkgoblinz for the art that goes along with each chapter uwu!

Gaz sat at the kitchen table staring into a bowl of cereal. Dib was off gazing out the back window like some kind of obsessed creep, and Dad... Well, to be perfectly honest, Gaz wasn’t sure of her father’s current whereabouts. Ever since she and her brother entered high school, their dad started leaving for extended periods of time, months on end with no calls or anything. She acted like she didn’t care all that much, she was used to keeping to herself, the quiet was actually quite nice to her. What bugged her was how he never told them where he was going or how long he would be. She missed him, she missed the normalcy from when their mother was alive. It just wasn’t fair. She hadn’t realized she’d been brooding until a knock at the door snapped her out of it, and she was forced to answer it when her brother made no motions over to it.

“Excuuuse me, pretty lady, I’m lookin for my master. He came here last night, have you seen him!!” Gir looked up at the girl. She frowned back.

“Dib, it’s for you,” she shouted, then left to return to her cereal.

Dib jogged up to the door, looking around, confused, then spotted the two-foot robot at his feet.

“Oh, are you looking for Zim?”

“Yeas.”

Dib looked out at his front yard and saw that the snow was beginning to melt, then sighed, “Follow me.”

Gir skipped along behind the boy as he led him through the house, across the living room floor, and into the kitchen where the back door sat.

“You got a nice place!” Gir whistled.

Dib pointed through the glass sliding back door to the shed in the backyard.

“He’s been in there since last night,” Dib stated.

“His toes must be freezin! Imma go check on him.” 

Dib politely opened the door for the little bot, and he marched out to the shed. Dib shivered as cold air hit the inside of the kitchen and closed the door hastily.

“Are you going to get all weird again?” Gaz asked from the table.

Dib turned, “What?”

“Now that Zim’s back, are you going to get all weird and obsessive again?”

Dib spoke anxiously, “What are you talking about? I was never obsessive.”

Gaz raised an eyebrow, and Dib continued to reason with her. “He was exiled, I don’t think we have to worry about him taking over the planet anymore.”

“We? I always gave less of a damn. But it looks like you won’t have to worry about him if he dies.”

Dib laughed awkwardly, but realized she wasn’t kidding. He quickly paced upstairs to his room.

  
  
  


Zim was curled up in the corner of the shed, now holding a humming Gir. He didn’t know where to go, so this shed seemed as good of a place as any. He couldn’t go back to his base, there was no point, and too many painful memories were there. If he was going to die of Earth’s cold, harsh conditions, he wanted it to be under his own volition and _not_ in a place made of materials he was given by a people who abandoned him.

“Gir, my perishment is inevitable. When I am gone, you will no longer have a master to serve, so you may spend your days doing whatever you please. I wish you the best luck,” he didn’t mean to sound pitiful, but that was the truth of the matter.

“I wanna become a mongoose,” Gir said definitively.

The shed door creaked open, and Zim’s attention snapped towards it. He watched wide-eyed as Dib approached him, bundled up and holding a spare hoodie. Zim glared.

“What is this? Zim doesn’t need your charity.”

Dib raised his eyebrow, and Zim snatched the coat from his grasp. He put it on hastily, letting out a violent shiver. Dib squatted down across from the alien and his robot.

“The fact that you haven’t changed these past few years is almost comforting,” Dib said.

“Curse you, tall human, I liked it better when you were weak!”

“See, this is what I mean,” Dib smiled softly.

Zim grumbled and pulled his jacket closer to his face.

“It’s good to see you, Zim,” Dib admitted.

Zim scoffed, “It’s apparent you think so, you seemed pleased as a snarlock in an asteroid field when you yelled at me last night and bruised my digits.”

Dib looked ashamed, “Sorry, it’s, um, been a hard week.”

“Zim understands this much. Zim was left for dead by his own people, but he does not need your pity,” talking in the third person made Zim feel stronger.

Dib nodded, and sat down, giving his haunches a rest. “My dad left about a week ago without any notice, so he missed Christmas. I’m not trying to compare the two, your situation is more drastic, I just—“

“Christmas, ah yes, the annual light and tree celebration where a big fat man gifts you pleasantries. Human traditions are so primitive.”

“Don’t your kind have celebrations?”

“Yes, when it is deserved, such as when an invader successfully conquers a planet. The entire Irken empire praises their name in such an event, they’re seen as a hero. It is the peak of an Irken soldier’s existence.”

“What about like, birthdays and weddings and stuff?”

Zim laughed, “HA! The concept of celebrating one’s birth year after year is a tradition only lower life forms take part in. As for weddings, wow, you really don’t understand Irkens, do you?”

“I’d like to,” Dib shrugged.

A surge pulsed through Zim, like he had been shocked by Dib’s words. He growled.

“I will not fall for your human tricks Dib-thing! Why are you humoring me? To get information on how to defeat me??”

Dib rolled his eyes, then stood up. “Zim, just come inside.”

“What??”

“The last thing I want is a dead alien in the shed. There’s no E.T. themed ice cream for a reason, no one wants that. Consider this a temporary living arrangement. My friend Ziggy does this all the time, sometimes with total strangers. You can stay with Gaz and I until you figure out what to do from here.”

“You have friends?” Zim stifled a laugh.

“I can take back this offer by the way,” Dib glared.

“I would like to go inside,” Gir admitted

“Silence Gir!” Zim snapped.

“Whaaat, he’s got a nice house! It smells like beans. ”

Zim took the little robot aside for a moment, murmuring to him. Dib tapped his foot impatiently. Zim cleared his throat and turned back to the waiting boy.

“I will take up the offer of your ‘temporary living arrangement’ on one condition.”

“And what would that be, oh negotiator.”

“I can have Tak’s old ship when I decided to finally leave his heap of dirt.”

Dib nodded, then held out his hand. Zim smacked it away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i drew some major inspiration from an older comic strip on bamsara ‘s instagram, especially with Dib giving Zim the hoodie. i wouldn’t say that many people would have noticed the similarities, I just wanted to give credit where it is needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize that updates are slow, i amn very busy atm. but i will update nonetheless!! ig a small warning for mention of familial death, nothin graphic, just a mention. good times ahead in this chapter!

Dib led the alien and his robot back inside. It didn’t take long for Gir to betray Zim, making a beeline towards Gaz at the kitchen table. At Zim’s side, Dib went on about house rules and asked if Zim needed to pick up any belongings from his otherwise condemned base. Zim was in his own head, taking in every little detail of the house. It was pretty clean save for obvious signs that teenagers lived here; shoes piled near the door, a video game console near the television, etc.

The two started upstairs, Dib continued on with the spiel that Zim was not paying attention to at all. Old photos of Dib and Gaz growing up rested on the wall that lead up the stairway. Zim stopped to look at one in particular. A portrait of four, capturing what looked like smeet Dib and Gaz, their father, and an Asian woman with purple hair.

“Who is this human female?” Zim asked.

Dib turned, “Oh, my mom.”

“Did she too leave without any notice like your human dad?”

“No, she died when I was ten.”

Zim blinked. Dib didn’t seem distraught discussing the topic, but it made Zim feel out of place. Maybe Dib knew the topic would make Zim uncomfortable, the malicious little bastard.

The two continued up to Dib’s bedroom, which had gone through a handful of changes since Zim had last seen it years ago. First of all, it smelled like dirty laundry and lotion. There was a wall dedicated to different sized terrariums, Zim counted five. The lack of efficient natural lighting remained the same. It was a miracle Dib’s frail human eyes could see anything in here.

“It smells like, what's the human word again? Oh right! It smells like  _ shit _ in here, Dib. You smell bad. Why are you so stinky??”

“What do you think it’s like to live in this body?” Dib rummaged through his belongings.

“Please don’t say that I am going to have to stay in here with you,” Zim pleaded.

“Oh God no, I’m just grabbing you some more clothes.”

“The jacket is sufficient, thank you!” Zim didn’t want Dib’s laundry anywhere near him.

Dib shrugged. “If you insist,” and headed back to the door.

“Wait, explain these,” Zim pointed to the terrariums.

Dib turned back. “My reptiles. Do you want to see them?”

“Vile! Zim would like to see.”

Dib took the time to take each creature out and let Zim inspect it. He owned a ball python, a crested gecko, a leopard gecko, a bearded dragon, and a tortoise. Each had a name referencing a creature of paranormal origin, or as Dib described them, cryptids. Upon inspection, Zim came to the realization that he was _ terrified  _ of these creatures. Dib only picked up on this fact as he showed Zim his leopard gecko, deciding to use this factoid to his advantage.

“Zim?”

“Yes.”

“Are you scared of her?”

“Lies!”

“Okay well, her name is Wendy, after the Wendigo.”

“She is puny, Zim could crush her in an instant.”

“If you do that I’ll send you back to the shed. Do you want to hold her?”

“If I must.”

Zim put on a brave face as Dib gently placed the gecko in the Irken’s cupped hands. Dib smirked to himself, knowing that Zim was full of shit. For a moment, Zim’s eyes were filled with wonder, until the small lizard gently licked his finger, and the alien lost his shit.

“GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!” Zim feverishly tapped his feet as Dib took his gecko away, laughing maniacally. A chill ran through Zim and he vocalized, disgusted.

“You’re such a baby!” Dib ruffled Zim’s antennae, attempting to give him a noogie. Zim chirped and flew across the room, escaping the contact. Both blushed and stared at each other, embarrassed.

Dib blurted, “What the fuck kind of noise was that??” 

“ONE DOES NOT TOUCH ANOTHER’S ANTENNAE YOU IGNORAMUS. The social implications behind that act go beyond your underdeveloped comprehension, so just know that I DON’T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU!!!”

Dib cleared his throat, “My bad, my bad.”

“You insolent fool!” Zim gathered himself. 

“Like I said earlier, I’m curious about your society, maybe you could give me a basic rundown, especially now that you’re going to be staying here, you know, for like, boundary purposes.”

Zim breathed a laugh, “You wish for me to explain Irken social constructs? Very well. Sit, this might take a moment.”

“Oh boy,” Dib sat at his desk chair and prepared himself for a lecture.

Zim paced, “Irkens have no need for  _ squishy _ feelings. We are a far superior and efficient race. What we deem socially acceptable as far as relationships go are the following. First off, we have a typical partnership. These are assigned by The Tallest to the strongest and most capable Irkens when genetic material is needed for reproduction. They are the only Irkens permitted to commit the ‘deed’, and their genetic material is sent off to the Control Brains so a new generation of smeets can be created.”

“Genetic material?” Dib made a face and cringed.

“Next, we have two different kinds of dynamics that  _ could _ be classified as human friendship, if friendship wasn’t so pitiful. An  _ amicuship _ is a mutual agreement in which two Irkens know and admit that they are stronger together. It is a team of a sort, but it is strictly for personal gain. Not for fun or ‘emotional support’.  _ Servuship _ is when one Irken knows they are inferior to another and wishes to act as their ‘sidekick’ in a sort. The superior Irken gains a slave while the inferior one gets the gratification of being degraded and put in their place.”

“Degradation..? That sounds kind of... You know what, I'm not even gonna say it. To each his own, I guess...” Dib noted quietly.

“Do not interrupt me,” Zim glares at him before continuing “Finally, we come to the taboo relationships. In Irken society, we shouldn’t have feelings of friendship or romance, it was programmed out of us. Yet somehow, in all of our greatness, it still exists. Those who experience such flaws are normally outcasted and seen as a glitch. These glitches are typically executed or re-encoded as slaves, depending on how useful they were to the Irken Armada. An  _ amouralligence _ is what you would call your human spouse, it’s based on lovey-dovey bullshit. Lastly,  _ platonance _ is what you humans would call your ‘best friend.’ Eugh!” Zim shivered in disgust.

“So if your leaders find a couple of amourails, they’re sentenced to death?”

“Precisely.”

“Hm, seems like a lonely existence.”

Zim couldn’t argue.

  
  
  


Dib opened the last door at the end of the hallway.

“You’ll be staying in here,” Dib said as he turned on the light.

Zim stepped into the guest bedroom. There wasn’t much personality save for a horse painting, but it was clean, neat, and had a very light color scheme. 

“Hm, this will do,” Zim nodded, trying to not seem as thankful as he was.

‘’Sorry about the horse painting, my dad went through a phase,” Dib said, staring intently at the off-putting piece of art.

“It is suitable for the time being,” Zim sat on the bed. It was surprisingly comfortable. Zim was used to sleeping on his control room chair, as did most Irkens. The way of his people wasn’t focused around comfort, they had more important things to worry about. But it’s not like he was part of that society anymore. He laid down and stared at the ceiling.

“So uh, I guess I’ll call you down when dinner’s ready?” Dib inched towards the door.

“I guess so,” Zim said quietly.

With that, Dib left, closing the door and leaving Zim to his own thoughts. Zim wondered why someone who was always intent on stopping him and performing horrible experiments on him was being so merciful after all this time. Maybe Dib was only concerned about Zim’s evil plot, not Zim as a person. And now that his mission was terminated he had no reason to hold a grudge. Or maybe he was plotting to subdue Zim in his sleep, and he would wake up with tubes attached to him and his abdomen cut open and his guts spilling out over a metal table—

Zim shivered. The fact of the matter was that he had mixed feelings about Dib Membrane. The kid was a weirdo, that’s for certain. But he was passionate. Back when they went to Skool together, he was the biggest pain in Zim’s ass. But Zim always kind of liked that. It kept him entertained. He liked when Dib got on his nerves, when all of the human’s attention was on him. Not in a Servuship or Amicuship kind of way, Zim’s pride always told him that he was better than Dib. This confliction was infuriating, but Zim found himself looking forward to more. All of these feelings were coming back at once and it was horrible. Zim buried his face in his hands and groaned. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

  
  
  


Dinner was more awkward than any of them could have imagined. The four sat at the table, the only sound being Gir’s incessant humming as he piled more and more food onto his plate. Tonight’s menu included a large pepperoni and mushroom pizza that Dib ordered over the phone. Zim picked at his food nervously.

Dib finally broke the silence after noticing how the alien nervously eyed his food. “What do you eat, Zim?”

Zim slowly lifted his slice of pizza to inspect the underside of it, “Sugars mostly. It’s hard to tell what Earth foods will poison me.” He pushed his chair out from under the table and marched to the cupboard.

“Now what are you doing??” Dib watched him suspiciously.

Zim’s antennae guided him to the baking cabinet. He opened it, grabbed a bag of sugar, and began shoving fistfuls into his mouth.

“Oh, I get it,” Gaz began, “He’s literally a bug. We have the world’s biggest pest in our house!”

“Way to sell it, Gaz,” Dib rolled his eyes.

“You invited him in without asking me. I live here too shithead!”

Dib didn’t feel like arguing. “Zim, carbs translate as sugars when digested. You should be fine eating the pizza.”

“Lies! There is a very suspicious fungus sitting on the top and I’m not quite sure I trust cheese yet. No, this bag of sweet will suffice.”

“I like cheese,” Gir scraped the remaining contents of Zim’s plate into his mouth, then ate the plate.

Gaz glared, “Don’t— Hey hey chill, don’t eat all of my baking supplies.”

“Baking??” Zim cocked his head and Gaz groaned.

“Know what, everybody out, all freaks and aliens to the living room,” Gaz closed the pizza box and shoved it in Dib’s hands.

“Yeah, all freaks and— wait hey!!” Dib whined.

“Quiet! This has literally been the most awkward dinner of my life, I want some alone time in the kitchen. You three make nice in the living room and I’m going to make cookies so  _ he _ stops eating my sugar and  _ you _ stop whining like a little bitch! Understand?”

Dib swallowed dryly and nodded. Zim laughed to himself, and the siblings snapped towards him.

“How amusing, the Dib-smelly listens to no one but his shorter, older sibling!”

“I’m the older one,” Dib countered, but this only made the alien laugh harder.

“Out!!!” Gaz said one last time, and Gir scurried to the couch, followed quickly by Dib and a reluctant Zim.

Gir flipped through the channels enthusiastically, then landed on some sitcom. Zim sat in between his robot and the pizza eating human.

“Eugh, no wonder you stink so bad, pizza smells like grease and... no wait, it just smells like grease,” Zim concluded.

Dib ignored him and rolled his eyes, then swallowed whatever was in his mouth and passed the box to Gir.

“Gimme gimme,” Gir took a big bite out of the box.

Dib wiped his hands on his pants and leaned back on his palms. His fingers brushed against Zim’s, and he drew back quickly. Zim hissed.

“Dude, make room,” Dib said.

“Make me!” Zim countered.

Dib inhaled to argue, but cleared his throat and let it go. Zim raised an eyebrow and eyed over the human carefully. In the evening light, he couldn’t tell if Dib’s cheeks were tinted pinker than normal. Dib caught sight of his staring and grimaced.

“What??” Dib snapped.

“Your face is stupid,” was all Zim could come up with.

They watched TV in silence after that. Eventually, Dib snagged the remote from Gir and put on some cartoons. Zim definitely preferred animated shows, they were so incredibly stupid, thus more amusing. What really stuck with him was Dib’s laugh. This was a sound completely foreign to him until now. It was a barking noise, loud even when he was just chuckling. The way his shoulders bobbed made his glasses fall down the bridge of his nose, and his face would scrunch up as his smile widened. The sight and sound were overwhelming, Zim caught himself looking more at Dib than the TV.

Gaz came out with the cookies, and the aroma reminded Zim how hungry he was.

“Oh, these look great, give em here,” Dib took the plate from Gaz, who smiled, which was new. Maybe this was what they bonded best over. Gaz sat on the other side of her brother and took a cookie from the plate.

“So what did I miss?” She asked, referring to the TV.

“Oh man Gaz this episode is one of my favorites,” and Dib began to ramble on about things that Zim didn’t even pick up on while watching the show. But he could barely pick up on them now, he had tunnel vision and was focused on the cookies. They still looked warm, Zim has had cookies before, but only from a box. These looked fresh. His stomach let out a low rumble, which alerted everyone.

“Woah,” was all Dib could say.

“Offer him a cookie, dingus, that’s why I made em,” Gaz shoved Dib lightly.

“Oh yeah, my bad, here you go,” the boy held out the plate in front of Zim, and he sheepishly took a cookie. He took a bite. They were good, really good. He took two more in his other hand, shoved a whole one in his mouth, then just took the whole plate. The humans chuckled at how hungry he was, but not in a taunting way. Gir took his share from the plate and passed a few down to the siblings. At this moment, everyone seemed content enough with such simple pleasantries.  _ Strange _ , Zim thought, but he felt relaxed, which was new. This was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i created irken quadrants. my homestuck brain worms told me to. also, i got inspired to give dib reptiles by hitamory on instagram. also got the reptile name ideas from them. if you havent already, go check them out! 10/10 content every time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for talk about blood! just want to make sure i don’t catch y’all off guard i reference some gore but its not too bad i dont think. also update: ive really been displeased about the art ive been posting for each of these chapters so i’m probably gonna take em down and stop doing that because it’s exhausting. the good news is that ill update the fic more frequently! this doesnt mean i’m gonna stop drawing it, the reason i wrote this fic was to have my own au to create comic strips for. just letting yall know to check here for updates now instead of my socials 💞

The next four days were something that Zim wasn’t used to. Normally, his routine consisted of sleepless nights and falling asleep at the work desk while plotting to destroy the Earth, but he found himself sleeping longer in his new, comfy bed. He would wake up to the smell of frying bacon, something Gir would normally only do if he knew Zim was in a rut. But now that he had all of these new ingredients and access to a refrigerator, the little robot was cranking out food left and right. The four would all eat together, and Zim quickly learned that Dib didn’t know what a shirt was from the time he went to bed to when he finished breakfast. After their mid-morning feast, Zim was left up to his own devices, so he would just wander the house and learn as much as he could about the Membrane siblings. Gaz would play guitar in her room, the sound of rock echoed throughout the house. It was a pleasant noise. It sounded angry, which is why Zim liked it. Dib did not, because he would always be caught in the middle of working on something “important” when the music began blaring through the walls. He would complain to Zim about it, and Zim would complain back. 

When it came time to feed Dib’s reptiles, Zim couldn’t help but watch. Each creature had a specific diet. The only insectivore turned out to be the Leopard gecko Wendy, and upon learning this fact Zim confirmed that she freaked him out the most. The more tolerable creatures were the tortoise and the snake. The Crested gecko was okay, it mostly ate this paste, but when it decided to jump onto Zim’s head and royally freak him out, that was the end of his interactions with the creature. Zim liked the tortoise the most. All he did was saunter and eat leafy greens. Zim found this to be the most suitable list of animal companion traits. His name was Jack, after the elusive jackalope, Dib had told him. Zim found himself admiring the shelled creature on several occasions. The Ball python named Nessie was a close second, the one thing that bugged him about her was how she would unhinge her jaw when eating a frozen mouse. It was a disgusting sight. Dib found Zim’s distaste for his pets endlessly amusing.

In Zim’s guest bedroom, he had a conjoined bathroom, shared with what must have been their father's room, which he didn’t dare explore. He would go into the bathroom sometimes and just watch the faucet run. Water perplexed him, but it acted like acid on his skin. This fact annoyed him to no end, so he spent a day in the garage developing a paste that made his skin impervious to the substance. It took the entire afternoon and he missed dinner for experimentation, but it wound up successful, and he spent thirty minutes submerged in the bathtub, learning that Irkens can hold their breath almost indefinitely.

On the fourth day of his stay, he arose from his slumber to find both siblings already awake and ready for the day. They were decorating the house with various gold, silver, and black balloons. It looked like Gir was trying to help, but he was tangled in a pile of streamers.

“Is there an occasion I am unaware of?” Zim said from the staircase.

Dib jumped, “It’s New Year’s Eve, stupid.”

Oh. Zim knew that. Earth’s celebration of its annual solar orbit. Human’s concept of time was far different than the ways of Irk, but this was the one celebration he could understand.

Gaz added, “Our dad’s coming home tonight, too, so maybe you should look more... human...”

Dib looked a little peppier than normal, probably due to the news of his dad’s soon return. Zim didn’t know enough about Professor Membrane to make a proper judgement. All he knew was how he was using this man’s bathroom, and how his absence probably wasn’t good for these two teens. Zim had limited knowledge on human society, but he understood how a typical family should work. Parent(s) + kid(s) + dog or cat + two-story house + car = human family. Dib and Gaz were missing a big part of that equation. 

“Zim has his disguise in his PAK and will promptly change into it,” he said, nodding.

Dib gave a thumbs up and Zim reciprocated the gesture.

  
  
  


Around noon, Gaz left with Gir to get fireworks and food for the party, leaving the house completely for the boys. She threatened Dib with a “knuckle sandwich” if they got into any trouble while she was gone, and he complied nervously. 

Zim had spent the majority of the day in the garage too, further developing his safe water paste (who’s name was also a work in progress). He itched his head while he worked, not having worn his wig in a while. Synthetic fibers weren’t very comfortable against his bare scalp, and it really obscured his senses having to cover his antennae. The mesh of his contacts blinded him a little too, so he was struggling slightly with his current project.

Dib stepped into the garage, “Oh hey, there you are.”

Zim didn’t look up from his work, “You were looking for me?”

“Yeah, I was going to feed Jack if you wanted to watch.”

“The adorable tortoise is enticing, but Zim is busy.”

Dib raised an eyebrow, “What are you working on,” and he walked over, completely invading Zim’s personal space. Zim sighed.

“I am in the process of developing a substance that I can apply to my skin and not be burned when I touch water,” he said, swirling around a vile full of glowing liquid. The table looked like something out of Breaking Bad, as if he were making hard drugs. 

“Wow, really?” Dib got closer to the workbench, inspecting his whole setup.

“Yes, and it is currently very unstable and could blow up in your face in an instant,” Zim said, causing Dib to shoot back quicker than he expected himself to move.

Dib’s fear calmed when Zim said, “I’m joking,” with eyes that read how he didn’t expect Dib to have such a reaction. Zim was just kidding around.

Dib let out a nervous laugh, “Heh, I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.”

Zim shed a soft smile, “Zim’s sense of humor is so ingenious and subtle I don’t expect you to get it half the time. No, but I think the paste is ready for another test run. Care to assist?”

Dib grinned.

A little went a long way. Zim rubbed a small portion of his experimental cream onto his hand and ran it under the faucet of his guest bedroom. Dib winced, but relaxed as he watched nothing bad happen. It was just as if a human were washing their hands.

“Hopefully in the future, I’ll be able to have it so it can permanently soak into my skin,” Zim noted. He sat on the counter and watched the water deflect from his bare hand.

Dib was awestruck, “This might be your greatest feat yet.”

“Zim knows of his superiority, but thank you.”

“Man, if you’re capable of this scientific discovery then it’s a miracle you haven’t completely vaporized the Earth by now,” Dib said jokingly, but Zim didn’t find this amusing. He bore a glare into the side of Dib’s head.

“The idea is still in the air, Dib-thing.” 

Dib met his gaze and glared back, “Is it?” He sounded defensive.

Zim knew the answer to that question all too well. Without his base or The Tallest, there was no point really in trying to be a successful invader. But if he tried hard enough... 

“This is a stupid subject,” Zim rolled his eyes and turned the water off, then dried off his hand, flicking water at the human.

“Ah, hey!” Dib laughed a little, and Zim flushed. His laugh always caught him off guard. Zim noticed that Dib’s ears grew pinker when he laughed, and he caught himself staring. He raised an eyebrow at the black hoops resting in Dib’s helix that definitely weren’t there a couple years back.

“What are these foreign objects?” Zim pulled at the human’s ear, and Dib yowled.

“Cut that out!” He smacked Zim’s hand away, “What my piercings? It’s just jewelry, you don’t have to rip my ear off!”

“It’s barbaric how humans use mindless self mutilation as a form of self expression,” Zim shuffled a little in place on the counter.

“I dunno man, they make me feel badass. I did them myself,” Dib seemed a little proud of himself.

“Did it hurt?”

“I mean a little. It bled more than it hurt though.”

“Do you bleed easily?”

“Apparently. That’s not going to stop me from doing it again.”

Zim fell into a dissociative state, something he assumed only Irkens felt. The thought of Dib bleeding hit a nerve, and all he could think about was how easily he could kill the human. One PAK leg to the abdomen should do it, humans were so fleshy and delicate. Standing over his corpse as red decorated the bottom of his shoes...

“Zim?” Dib snapped his fingers and Zim snapped out of it.

“Apologies... It’s a little difficult to function with this disguise. It obscures my senses,” Zim gestured to his getup. Not only was he wearing his contacts and wig, but more recently he’s stopped wearing his invader’s uniform all together and just sticks to his leggings and the hoodie he was given.

“Ah yeah, your antennae. Well I think the getup... suits you,” Dib nonchalantly looked Zim up and down, and leaned one hand on the counter.

Zim didn’t know how to respond, he felt like shriveling up into himself and hiding forever, reveling in the warm feeling Dib gave him from his words. No, instead, he just stared at Dib, who kept eye contact. He felt like he could jump out of his body. For the life of him, he couldn’t read Dib’s facial expression. It looked relaxed, yet terrified at the same time. 

“What are you so afraid of..?” Zim asked in almost a whisper tone.

Dib broke the eye contact momentarily to look at his feet nervously, then back to Zim. He didn’t speak, he just gazed, and Zim did the same, taking in every last detail of the human standing before him. Dib made a motion towards Zim, but was interrupted when the phone in his pocket began ringing, scaring the two.

“Sorry, I...” Dib sheepishly checked who it was, “It’s probably just Gaz asking wh—“ Dib stuttered as he read the contact, “It’s my dad?”

Dib answered the phone and walked back into Zim’s bedroom. Zim sat frozen on the sink counter, heart racing. He took a deep breath, and leaped down, legs trembling, then went to meet Dib in his room. The human boy was pacing, on the phone, talking quietly, but sternly.

“No, dad— ... Yeah I get that but— ... She’s out right now getting stuff for tonight! ... Whatever. ... Yeah, it sure looks like it. ... I said whatever! ... Fine, bye.”

Dib threw his phone on the bed and let out an exasperated noise of anger. Zim stifled a chuckle.

“You turn very pink when you are mad, Dib-human.”

Dib looked at Zim with rage, and the alien realized he might have crossed a line. Dib grabbed his phone and marched out of the room and down the stairs. Zim followed. The angry boy began ripping down the decorations they spent all morning putting up. Zim stayed on the stairs. This side of Dib was a little intimidating.

Gaz opened the front door, hands full of grocery bags, and a disguised Gir skipped inside before she did, “We’re ho— what the FUCK are you doing??? Those are for dad!!!”

“Dad’s not coming,” Dib said, out of breath.

“What!?” There was a twinge of anger to Gaz’s voice, then she shut down. She stormed inside and threw the bags onto the coffee table. Out of habit, Gir flew into Zim’s arms, a little scared.

“She’s angry,” Gir cooed.

Gaz opened her cellphone and began texting somebody as her brother picked up his own phone and called someone else.

“Ziggy— ... Yes yes I know, listen. My dad bailed so plan B. ... Tell the others. Invite everyone. He doesn’t give a shit about his kids, why should we give a shit about his house?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will be posting a comic strip later today of the scene where they’re in the bathroom talking about earrings and stuff. again, i wont be doing drawings as often, but i still want to them. just in no particular order and less frequently. ill still let yall know abt chapter updates on my instagram story though just in case yall miss them here. hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyee another update. i told yall i’ll update more frequently! i have it all written i just have some final chapter by chapter edits to do. warning for teen drinking in this chapter!!

Zim had never experienced a party like this before. Irken celebrations were less... primitive. Music blared from Bluetooth speakers, he could feel the bass in his stomach. A million conversations yelled over each other all at once, and it was way too crowded for such a small space. Zim literally thought Dib had no friends. Maybe Dib just had really good connections, but the function was packed. People were pouring out into the front and back yards, stumbling to music in the living room, wandering aimlessly upstairs, all holding red solo cups. It was hard to get around in this mess of a crowd. Zim pushed through the horde to get to the kitchen, bumping into two people grinding against each other. They gave Zim a look and Zim instinctively readjusted his wig.

Zim stumbled into the kitchen, where he spotted the Membrane siblings in their own little cliques. Gaz was standing next to a guy with dark skin who was as tall as he was wide, and was facing a girl who was clearly older than her. She had black, greased hair, and might have been the scariest human that Zim has ever seen. And that was saying something because he knew Gaz.

Gaz fidgeted while talking to this older girl, cracking an awkward smile and laughing a little too loudly at her jokes. Zim made a face and stuck out his tongue. 

“Primitive Urth courting rituals...” he muttered to himself.

Dib, on the other hand, was standing around the countertop in between two other guys. One of which wore a beanie over his long, ratty brown hair while the other had a mess of dirty blond hair and held himself just as awkwardly as Dib, maybe even more so. The two guys handed Dib a snorkel, helping him pour straight vodka into the other end, Dib drinking like it was the end of the world.

Gir tripped over himself to get to Zim, “Wheeeee~”

“How much of this human poison have you ingested?” Zim picked the “dog” up.

“I dunno about you, but I wanna go to Torontoooo!!!”

“You imbecile, you’ve completely jacked your wiring,” Gir hiccuped as Zim bitched and moaned.

Zim glanced back over at Dib. He looked like he was having fun. Zim didn’t want to introduce himself to the people that he was hanging out with, he still felt a low profile was safest. Besides, what would he gain from an introduction? Friends? Ha!

A new song began to play, much to Gir’s delight.

“Ooh! This is my favorite song!” The dog chirped.

“You’ve never heard this song before, Gir.” 

Gir didn’t care. He leapt from Zim’s arms and scurried to the living room. The robot climbed up onto the coffee table and began cutting a rug, making quite the spectacle of himself. He received hooting and hollering, sounds of praise and encouragement. Humans were stupid enough that this wouldn’t compromise their identities, but Zim still felt nervous. After looking back at Dib one more time, noting that he was paying no mind to Zim, the Irken stormed upstairs to his room. If he could just hide out for a little bit, maybe he could figure out where to go and get the hell off this nothing planet before the night was over. The thought of leaving without saying goodbye left a sour taste in his mouth. He wanted to punch himself in the face. Zim had no attachment to these humans, he was the mighty Zim! He had no need for companionship. The main point of this temporary living arrangement was that it was _ temporary _ , and there was a fresh voot waiting in the garage with his name on it.

Zim marched to the door at the end of the upstairs hallway and flung it open. The room was dark and smelled funny. He flipped on the light and yelped. Two humans were snogging on his bed, one with a hand up the other’s shirt, and the other with a hand down his pants. When they realized Zim was standing there, they pulled away from each other quickly, fixing their clothes and zipping their pants.

Zim stood shaking, furious, “This is Zim’s room...”

The humans looked confused, and one of them said, “You live here...?”

“Who gave you Urth-smellies the right to lay waste to my place of slumber!?”

“Dude, who are you?” The other one asked.

Zim boiled, “I am INVADER ZIM!!! MARK MY WORDS, YOU TWO WILL BE THE FIRST TO FACE MY WRATH WHEN I, AS YOUR GOD, DOMINATE YOUR FILTHY PLANET!!!!!”

One of them laughed, “Dude, how drunk are you?”

“ZIM DOES NOT PARTAKE IN YOUR HUMAN POISON LIQUIDS, YOU HUMAN PIG SMELLY!!!” And he slammed the door on them.

Apparently the only moderately quiet place was the roof. Thanks to his PAK legs, he was able to crawl from Gaz’s room window with ease. She had the only empty bedroom as no one dared mess with her shit. Zim couldn’t understand how humans could find this sort of gathering to be so fun.

He watched as a couple of drunk idiots messed with firecrackers in the backyard. “Heh, fools,” he laughed at their expense.

Zim leaned back and looked at the sky. He could see the stars pretty clearly from here. Mentally, he mapped out the constellations, and noted how far he was from Irk. He almost missed space. At least everybody feels alone in space.

“Room for one more?”

Zim sat up. Dib had somehow shimmied his way up to the roof as if he’s done this a million times before. He didn’t wait for Zim to answer him before he sat down clumsily next to the timid creature.

“It’s getting a little crazy in there,” Dib admitted, slurring a little.

“There are humans snogging in my place of sleep,” Zim said through a clenched jaw.

Dib barked out a laugh. “Aw man, holy shit, I can help you wash the sheets tomorrow.”

Dib’s breath smelled of yeast and lemons. Zim made a face, and Dib realized that he must smell. He checked his own breath and winced.

“Good god, I  _ do _ stink.”

“Finally, something we can agree on.”

They sat in silence, watching the dummies down below play with fire.

“Explain this to me, Dib-thing.”

Dib faced Zim.

“How can your kind just... do this? Isn’t there anything better that you can be doing besides drinking poison??”

Dib snorted a little, “What, your kind doesn’t have fun?”

Zim shrugged and Dib looked a little surprised, but continued, “Sure, there are important things in our lives, but we have such a short time on this planet, why not enjoy ourselves every once in a while?”

How alien of him to say. The concept was like new aged philosophy to Zim, yet it was coming from a human, so how right could it be? But on the other hand, maybe Irken ways were just wrong.

“Show me?”

“Huh?” Dib blurted.

“Zim wishes to learn how to enjoy life like a human.”

Dib’s eyes widened a little, “Wow, really?”

“Your kind is so blissfully ignorant,” Zim searched for the right words.

“Okay...”

“Stupid, small brained—“

“I get it.”

“Teach Zim.”

Dib thought quietly to himself, “I mean... Yeah, okay. I can teach you. But that means you’re going to have to do things that you think are stupid.”

“I am aware.”

“Indulge in a lot of stupid movies,” Dib bore a giddy smile.

Zim frowned, and Dib laughed.

“So is this like, your New Year's resolution or something?” The buzzed boy asked.

“What on Irk is that?”

“Basically, when the new year rolls around, a lot of people will set a goal for the year. They’ll say ‘new year, new me’ or something, and promise themselves that they’re going to start going to the gym or become vegetarian, then flake out a month in.”

“New year new me...” The words rolled off Zim’s tongue.

“I think my goal for the year is to cut back on watching porn,” Dib spoke drunkenly.

“You disgust me.”

Dib chuckled, and his smile was contagious. Chanting from inside the house alerted the two back to reality, and Dib checked his phone.

“Oh shit, twelve seconds to midnight,” and counted down with the crowd softly.

Zim inspected Dib’s face as the boy spoke to what looked like the world.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Zim clenched his eyes on zero out of habit. On Irk, a countdown was only used for a bad thing, like an execution or a bomb. But he heard no death, only cheering and distant music. He dared open an eye. The world didn’t end, but nothing looked “new”. He was still alive, looking at Dib, who stared back, and he looked so beautiful. Dib leaned in, and Zim backed up, unsure, until Dib planted a wet kiss on the alien’s lips. He tasted like cheap beer. They pulled away quickly, neither of them really understanding what caused them to do that.

Dib struggled for an answer, “Sorry, I think I’m really drunk, and it’s a human tradition to kiss at midnight—“

“Don’t mention it,” Zim kept licking his lips, deciding on the taste. 

“Slimey,” he decided.

Dib laughed to break the tension, and shoved the alien’s shoulder. Zim retaliated with a firm punch on Dib’s. Dib whined out an “oww”, then they both laughed.

The fools in the backyard began setting off actual fireworks, and the majority of the party piled outside to watch the display. Dib watched in awe at the colorful balls of fire, but all Zim could focus on was the way the color bounced off Dib’s face. Zim smiled. Hm,  _ new year, new me. _ Zim liked the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bamsara definitely inspired this whole scene, especially on the rooftop. i tried to make it as different as possible, but it’s hard to fall away from the source material. hope yall enjoyed it :,-)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is super short but a lot of development happens! the next chapter is unnecessarily long so that’ll make up for it! warning for alcohol use and emetophobia

The concept perplexed Zim. Sure, kissing was universal, but it’s not like he had ever been kissed before. And it kinda sucked that his first kiss was from his drunken nemesis, but this didn’t stop his curiosity of the topic. In the next coming months, Zim would watch countless romantic comedies just to understand the concept. Of course, he never let the others know of his curiosity. Especially not Dib. The morning after the party was a hung over haze for the human boy, and he had the entire house to clean. Needless to say, the kiss wasn’t mentioned. 

Zim stuck true to his New Years resolution through the end of winter break. He started with being less spiteful and more tolerant. When Gaz needed a small audience to practice in front of, Zim watched patiently as she shred savory licks from her guitar. When Dib needed a hand with cleaning out his terrariums, Zim complied, regardless of his opinion on reptiles. In return, the two included him and Gir in their various past times. They tried teaching Zim how to skateboard. Zim ate shit countless times, but he persisted. Luckily, he had a natural knack for rollerblading, and the day ended with him skating laps around them. They played video games together, which ironically was their loudest activity. When it snowed again Zim had gotten to a point with his experimental paste that he could enjoy the icy weather. They spent hours building the ugliest snowmen and playing ruthless games of snowball fights. When they were bored they blew up marshmallows in the microwave.

On the last day of winter break, Gir made everyone a giant breakfast for dinner kind of meal. Zim could eat most breakfast foods, so it’s one of the few human cuisines he truly liked. Afterwards, they rewatched The Birdcage for the seventeenth time, Zim’s self proclaimed favorite comedy. At around 10:00 the humans called it in early since they had Skool the next day. Zim finished the movie with Gir, polished off a box of oreos, then decided to call it a night as well. Zim found that he enjoyed living for the small things. He enjoyed living for himself, which also was a small thing. He sat in the dark of his room, and fiddled with a PAK leg that was bothering him before he fell asleep. Bright light woke him up not twenty minutes later. He shot up and looked around, antennae sticking straight in the air as he understood his surroundings. Dib stood by the light switch, clearly dazed, holding a bottle of Smirnoff. Zim groaned.

“I truly hope your resolution was not to drink as much poison as humanly possible,” Zim said, groggy from sleep. 

Zim had noticed that Dib drank a lot, more than he thought was healthy. The boy had really bad coping mechanisms, and for some reason, Zim was always the person he went to when in a depressive state of drunkenness. Zim didn’t complain all that much, he was trying to be more patient, but he always made sure to let Dib know how much he didn’t like the poison human juice. Dib stumbled over and sat on the edge of the bed.

“It helps me think,” he slurred.

“Lies! You do stupid things that mess with my head that you don’t even bother mentioning while sober.”

Dib looked sheepish, and was clearly too far gone to have that conversation. He met Zim’s gaze, then hit him with the same look from the day of the party. The same tantalizing look from when they sat in the bathroom together after Zim had shown Dib the fantastic abilities of his waterproof paste. It was a relaxed look shrouded in insecurity. Zim swallowed dryly, then spoke.

“I am not going to kiss you again while you’re intoxicated.”

Dib became worried, then looked down and said, “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Then why are you in here? Zim is not a toy.”

Dib took a moment to gather his thoughts, then started, “I’m sorry I... I shouldn’t be using you as an outlet. That’s shitty.”

Zim raised an eyebrow, and Dib continued, “I don’t really know how to cope. Normally I would just get drunk and pass out on the couch but now that you’re here... I dunno.”

“What could possibly be eating at you that you resort to that,” and Zim gestured to the bottle.

Dib adjusted his glasses, “Oh you know, my dad is a self serving asshole, and I am constantly switching between thinking I’m god to thinking I’m a piece of shit, oh, not to mention how my shit ex keeps giving me mixed signals.”

Zim sighed and nodded, encouraging Dib to continue, “His name’s Ryan, and we’re not really on bad terms, he’s the bassist in Gaz’s band so we have to see each other a lot. It’s the mature thing to do, you know. So we’re not on bad terms.”

“You’re repeating yourself Dib.”

“And the whole deal with our relationship was that he’s too far in the closet and just, riddled with self hatred. He doesn’t want to accept it, but the fact of the matter is that this guy is as fruity as they come.”

Zim humored Dib’s rant with slight confusion, but knew it didn’t really matter if he understood what Dib was going through. What mattered was that Dib needed to get this off his chest.

“On New Years he said something along the lines of our relationship didn’t ‘out’ him because I’m not a real man?” Dib raised his voice at the end of the statement, as if it were a question. Dib couldn’t believe someone would say that to him.

“Elaborate,” Zim requested, concerned.

Dib hesitated before speaking, “Zim, do you ever feel... wrong..?”

Zim nodded slowly, “Yes...”

Dib got choked up, and became a blubbering mess as salty tears streamed down his face. Zim had never seen Dib cry before, and it hurt him to see it. Dib rubbed his mouth, and a panicked look shot across his face. He set the vodka down, ran into the bathroom, and puked into the toilet. Zim winced, then followed him in, his baggy nightshirt hitting his knees as he walked. A three fingered hand rubbed Dib’s back gently. Dib threw up everything in his stomach. He gagged on his tears, and Zim stayed by his side until when he was finished. The boy stood up shakily. Zim let him lean on his shorter frame as the two stumbled back to the bed. Dib laid down, and Zim threw the covers over him, then crawled in next to him. He truly didn’t want anything bad to happen to this human. He wanted to protect him. Dib pulled Zim close, so his PAK was resting against the human’s chest. Zim felt his face heat up, and a soft pink glow radiated off of his PAK. They wound up falling asleep in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m really trying to stress how zim’s natural protective instincts are projecting onto dib. i wonder why 🤔 anyways, i’m staying on schedule of posting a chapter a day! i have like, 13 chapters done total but i dunno if i wanna reorganize some parts into less chapters. stay tuned sisters


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyy now i finally get to introduce the shit OCs i mentioned in the party chapter. i normally dont do OC x canon but i needed some new fuckers for zim and dib’s development. plus i had to give gaz a girl to drool over.

With Skool occupying most of the Membrane kids’ time, Zim was given a lot more moments to himself. He decided that in the mornings he would make Dib and Gaz their lunches. This way he could write them, mostly Dib, little notes about how much they smell or how gross their lunches were to him. He would walk them to school and pick them up in the afternoon. Most of the time he would bring Gir along dressed as their dog, but the robot became invested in Gaz’s video games, so he rarely wanted to leave the house. That’s what they get for letting him crash on the couch. He basically owned the downstairs now. 

On Thursdays and Sundays they had work. Gaz worked at a small CD shop, doing various things like front desk and stock, while Dib worked for a small publication company editing and ghost writing articles. Zim wasn’t really ever invited to their places of work, which he thought was for the best, it’s important to not create any suspicion.

One specific Saturday, while the kids were at work, Zim found himself further developing his water resistant paste. He created enough to cover his entire body, and decided to test it by indulging in a shower. The run was a success. He enjoyed how wet warmth completely surrounded his bare skin. He wondered if this is what it felt like for a fetus. Along the wall of the shower were different bottles of soaps and conditioners. Zim took the time to smell each of them, then lathered it onto his body. By the time he stepped out of the shower, he smelled like a Bath & Body Works store. His PAK began to vibrate. An incoming transmission from Dib. He put it on speaker.

“Dib!”

“Zim, hey I know you really don’t like to go out in public, but can you do me a huge favor?” Dib’s voice rang out throughout the bathroom. Zim was busy drying himself.

“No,” the alien said smugly.

“Don’t hang up. Please, I left my lunch in the fridge, I would really appreciate it if you could drop it off.”

“What is in it for Zim?”

“What’s in it for you is that the person who owns the house you’re staying at doesn’t starve.”

“Yawn.”

“I can come home with doughnuts.”

Zim got dressed in his disguise and promptly rushed to the company that was about ten minutes away. A little diplomacy from the Dib human went a long way. Foster Publication stood before him, and he stepped inside. The building seemed to be separated into three sections; the front desk, a conference room with blinded windows, and a main area where workers talked among themselves. It was very quiet, the key sound was the soft clicking of people typing at keyboards. Two doors were in the very back, one labeled ‘Mr. Foster’ and the other labeled ‘Storage’. Zim stuck out like a sore thumb, his green skin and magenta hoodie plastered against the dull manila and khaki.

“Can I help you kid?” The woman at the front desk spoke with a twinge of annoyance. She had grey curls pulled up away from her face and thick rimmed glasses.

Zim cleared his throat and held up Dib’s lunch, “Delivery for Dib Membrane...”

“Ah, he mentioned something about his friend dropping off his lunch. He’s in the back,” and she pointed to the door labeled ‘Storage.’

Zim smiled awkwardly at her and quickly walked to the other side of the room, hugging the wall as he moved. A few of the workers gave his sideways looks, but nothing worse than that. When he made it to the door, he shoved his way into what looked like a tiny break room. This was clearly a storage space. Boxes upon boxes of paperwork were stacked in every corner. 

Dib sat at an old computer talking to some guy who was practically sitting on his keyboard. This stranger had long brown hair, red, puffy eyes, and his clothes looked like they hadn't been washed in weeks. Dib lit up when he saw Zim.

“Yes, you came! Thank you thank you thank you,” and he slid his revolving chair over to where Zim stood and took his lunch. He shoved fistfuls of potato chips in his mouth, then realized an introduction was in order.

“Ah, Zim this is Ziggy. Ziggy, Zim, Zim, Ziggy,” he spoke through his food, “Fuck, you two have the worst names on the planet.”

“C’mon man, my nickname is way cooler than Johnathan,” Ziggy said as he walked over to Zim.

Dib laughed, “God it so isn’t!”

“So this is the famous Zim, right on,” he held out a fist for a bump, and Zim shook it.

“Do you also work here?” Zim asked.

“Ah naw dude, I just loiter,” he said with a chuckle.

Zim squinted, “Oh, Zim knows why you’re familiar. You fed the Dib alcohol through a tube on New Years!”

“Haha yeah I was there! Although I didn’t see you,” Ziggy chuckled.

Dib guzzled down a grape Propel then spoke, “Zim’s not really a people person.”

“Hey man, no disrespect, I feel. Although, as much as Dib talks about you, I’m surprised that you haven’t shown up to more functions.”

Zim looked at Dib after hearing this information and Dib stared at the floor, embarrassed. 

“I just came back to town. Dib and I know each other from childhood, and I was recently kicked out, so we’ve compromised on a temporary living arrangement,” Dib gave Zim a thumbs up for the improv. 

“Oh shit no way. I was kicked out when I was seventeen and I never looked back. Stay strong brother, because look at me now! Nineteen and a successful entrepreneur. I run my own business selling people things that make them happy and I live in a luxury mobile home. So if you ever think you need to finish high school just look to ya boy Ziggy as an example that you don’t,” and he pointed to himself.

“He sells pot and lives in a van,” Dib reworded.

“C’mon man don’t tell him that...”

Zim smiled awkwardly, “Ah yes, to be mobile selling cooking utensils.”

Dib tried not to laugh at Zim’s lack of knowledge towards human culture.

“Heh,” Ziggy started, “I like this kid, he’s weird.”

“I like him too,” Dib chuckled, and Zim felt that strange surge again. He cleared his throat.

“So, Zim is going to make his escape now,” he said backing up towards the door.

Someone opened it for him, and Zim turned to face the front desk woman who stared Ziggy down.

She scoffed, “I knew I smelled a rat. Johnathan Foster I am going to tell your father that you’re here!”

Ziggy feigned his offense, “Can’t a guy just visit his loving husband at work,” and he squished Dib’s cheeks.

Dib smacked him away, “Dude, come on, you’re going to get me fired.”

“Fine then, I shall elope with your beloved housemate. Zim, shall we?”

Zim relaxed a little, happy that it was time to leave. The front desk woman glared at the two, and Ziggy grabbed Zim’s wrist and dragged him out the back door which fed into a gross alleyway. When the door closed behind them, he heard Dib calling a goodbye after them. This made Zim smile. The two began to part ways down different directions of the alley, then Ziggy stopped.

“Oh, Zim!”

The Irken turned to look at him.

“You should pull up to the next band practice. You could meet the gang! Not to brag, but I’m kind of the band manager.”

Zim made a face. He didn’t particularly want to go. If all human gatherings were anything like the New Year’s party then he wanted nothing to do with them. Doing pointless things with Dib and Gaz was enough. Besides, he didn’t need more humans attached to him. He looked at Ziggy carefully.

“I will not be attending.”

“WE ARE MISSIONARY SPIT AND WE ARE HERE TO ROCK!!! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!”

A girl with greased black screamed bloody murder into the microphone as echoing nonsense rang from her guitar. Zim sat on a rundown couch between Dib and Ziggy, watching the band play. He didn’t yet understand Earth music, but there was no harm in humoring a performance.

The lead singer and secondary guitarist was introduced as Avril, the primary guitarist being Gaz. Avril turned out to be the punker chick that Gaz was drooling over at the party. The drummer, Bruno, was the big guy hanging around them that night. The bassist showed up late, so Zim didn’t really get a proper introduction to the guy. He was also there on New Years, doing snorkel shots with Dib and Ziggy, but his name eluded Zim.

A voice called down to the basement where Missionary Spit was performing, and they halted their music.

Avril shouted back up, “MOM, WE’RE HAVING BAND PRACTICE!!!!!!”

Dib snorted at the exchange.

Avril huffed, ignoring her mom’s request to help with the groceries, “So what did you think? Was I a little pitchy?”

“I thought you were good,” Gaz said quietly. Apparently, Gaz liked girls that intimidated even her.

“You were perfect, baby,” Ziggy said in an Austin Powers type voice. He then casually stuck a joint between his lips and began to lit it.

Avril noticed, and snapped.

“Zig! What the fuck!! You can’t smoke in my house, my mom will freak!!!”

Ziggy surrendered, and put it out on the couch. This caused another outburst from the girl behind the mic.

“Is this still part of the song..?” Zim whispered to Dib.

Dib leaned over, “No uh, no she’s actually just pissed.”

“I don’t think I understand the rock and roll.”

“It’s okay, a lot of people don’t either.”

Zim liked the fact that he and Dib were a different entity from the band. Ziggy technically wasn’t in the band, but he was their “working manager”, meaning he’d drive them around in his van to gigs and ditch them mid show to avoid a drug bust. Ziggy was clearly Dib’s best friend, but Zim was a refreshing change of pace for Dib. They got along differently. Their dynamic was a little hostile due to their roots, but what they had just worked. Zim didn’t really care if Dib paid him mind out of pity or his freakish xenophilic fixation, he just liked the attention from the boy in particular.

The kid on the base tapped his foot, “Can you two stop bitching so we can do another run? I don’t think my bass was tuned.”

“I’m not bitching I’m having a domestic dispute with our fuckass band manager! If you can’t be patient how about you start your own band,” Avril scowled.

“Y’all, chill,” Bruno said. His voice was extremely deep, and Zim realized that he had never heard the guy talk up until now.

The bassist rolled his eyes, “Whatever,” and went over to the small basement fridge to grab himself a soda.

Zim watched the kid carefully. Something about him rubbed him the wrong way. It was either the vibe he put out or how Dib sank down into himself each time he spoke.

Zim leaned over to Dib, “Who is the miserable meat child?”

”Dude, that’s Ryan.”

Zim’s vision honed into the boy grabbing a soda. Rage began to brew in his gut, and his eyebrows lowered. He almost completely lost it, reverting into a sort of territorial state. His vision became tunneled until he was completely in his own mind, obscured from reality. Zim couldn’t tell which way was up or which way was down. He felt his PAK whir with a new murderous directive. It could be so easy to kill everyone in this room to protect Dib. That way no one could ever hurt him again.

“Yo little dude, you got a staring problem?” Ryan waved in Zim’s face and he was zapped back to reality.

Dib laughed nervously, “This guy’s always zoning out on me,” then spoke in a whisper tone to Zim, “What the fuck was that?”

“You say the word and I strike him down. I would like to.”

“What?? No!!”

“I’m hearing a yes.”

“What are you two boneheads whispering about,” Ryan asked, still standing over them.

Dib cleared his throat, “Imagine the coolest thing in the world and multiply it by at least six.”

Ryan scoffed, “Whatever.”

As he walked back to his bass, Zim stuck his tongue out at him. This arose a chuckle from Dib. The band played the same song five more times. In between each round, they would moan to each other, nitpicking every lick on a guitar or their foul body oder. They were an insufferable bunch, which amazed Zim. He figured human friendship was this sticky, lovey dovey thing. This new concept he could get behind. After about an hour or two, they decided to pack it up for the night. Zim stood up for the first time since they arrived, and he realized that his ears were ringing. He steadied his feet and marched forward as per usual. Dib saw this and laughed.

“You alright there space boy?”

“Your grimy Urth music hurts my ears.”

“Zim, you don’t have any ears.”

“Silence!”

Their small exchange was interrupted when they heard they heard themselves mentioned in Avril and Ziggy’s conversation.

“...and tell Dib to bring his small, weird friend,” she said casually.

Ryan butted into the convo, “What!? Come on I thought it would just be the gang.”

“Dude, don’t hate on Zim. He’s the homie!” Ziggy reassured.

“What are you guys talking about?” Dib crossed his arms.

“The kickback on Saturday, Zim should come,” Avril said.

Dib inhaled through his teeth, “Mmm not sure if that’s a good idea guys.”

Zim frowned at Dib, “Do not speak for Zim! I will attend if the Dib-stink goes.”

Dib looked back at Zim with a panicked look and Ziggy smiled, “Hell yeah man, the more the merrier.”

Gaz walked over to Dib and Zim and pulled them aside, “Whatever happened to laying low?”

Zim stuck his nose in the air, “Zim came here did he not? Attending such events lowers suspicion. Besides, I am a grown Irken and I can make my own decisions.”

“That makes sense, I guess,” Gaz shrugged, but Dib huffed.

“Dib-stink, I do not trust this Ryan human, not one bit. I wish to attend just in case he tries anything stupid,” Zim insisted.

“I can take care of myself.”

“This has nothing to do with protecting you, who do you think Zim is? I am merely going to put him in his place beneath me. Did you see how he looked at me? The disrespect!” Zim knew he was lying about his motive, but didn’t dwell on that.

Dib hesitated, “Fine. But no smoking. You do realize that’s all this is, right? A smoke sesh. And I don’t know how you will take to human recriminations drugs.”

“Do not worry so much, I can handle any initiation ritual you squishy humans throw at me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clearly the next chapter’s gonna have some weed so if you’re touchy to that pls be careful. sorry i havent updated in a sec i’m lazy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight boys big ol’ warning for weed use and transphobia. i think this is the chapter that has gone through the most editing bc i’m not easily pleased but i just want it do be done so here take it

It was dark by the time they left the house on Saturday. Zim walked with his hood up. Regardless of his disguise he felt safer this way. Gaz was a fast walker, but Dib was considerate and walked alongside the small alien. The neighborhood was already asleep, save for a few interior lights on here and there in the rows and rows of neighboring houses. Zim was mildly excited for the night ahead. Gaz’s friends proved to be a promising bunch, and the thought of humiliating Ryan left Zim grinning to himself. They walked past their old Skool house and into the city, where Gaz readied herself to turn a corner into an alleyway, but Dib stopped her.

“No he moved again,” he explained.

“Again??”

“Yeah, you can only hide out a van in an alley for so long.”

Zim blinked. The city was different at night. Not so empty, but it definitely was a different crowd of people. A lot of various, shady looking people. But Zim supposed that they fit right in to that crowd. Dib led the rest of the way to a new alley, where a white van sat, music bumping from the inside of it. Various pieces of amateur, crude graffiti decorated the exterior of the van. Gaz marched up to it and walked right in, leaving the two boys outside. As she opened the door, a choir of greetings welcomed her, and the door shut right behind her.

Dib hesitated, “Just let me know if things get too crazy in there and you want to leave.”

“Zim doesn’t need your concern. Save your energy. I have a warrior’s spirit and I do not scare easily.”

Dib shrugged and opened the door for him, and he stepped inside. What hit Zim first was a cloud of skunky smoke. The interior was decorated wall to wall in tacky 70s hippie paraphernalia. Music was playing on high and inside sat everyone he had met at band practice. Zim’s attention snapped directly towards Ryan. The kid looked like a total wimp. It eluded Zim how Dib could have ever grown an attachment to him. Ryan was just a scrawny white guy with overgrown dirty blonde hair in basketball shorts and a Nirvana hoodie. Zim glared at him until he was forced out of his predatory state with conversation.

“Glad you could make it, freak,” Avril said with a genuine gaze.

“Yes of course, it is a pleasure to grace you pathetic bunch with my presence.”

“What?”

“He’s joking,” Dib said nervously, and he closed the door behind the two.

Zim was forced to squeeze in between Bruno and Dib. The size difference between Zim and the six, maybe seven foot man was comical. Just as ironically, he was sat right across from Ryan. Zim eyed the human over carefully. He could practically smell his fragile ego. If the pasty human tried anything, Zim would be sure to shatter his hubris. He held so much resentment towards this human, and not just because of his attitude earlier. Seeing how Dib ached over this excuse for a sentient being fueled Zim’s fire for revenge. But the Irken in him, his PAK, told him to get it together, because no Irken soldier should ever get this protective over another life form. He tried not to focus on his internal conflict, and he brought his attention back to Ryan, who was huffing what looked like smoke in a vase. Ryan only noticed Zim’s staring when he looked up.

“What?”

Zim didn’t back down from the staring contest, and Ryan, visibly confused, handed him the bong. Zim took it, unsure what was expected from him, and everyone’s attention turned to him.

“Hey man, I dunno if that’s a good idea,” Dib said, giving Zim a stern look. Gaz knew she shouldn’t find this funny, but she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Nah man it’s all good,” Ziggy said, clearly already stoned, “Help yourself.”

Zim hesitated, and inspected the strange vase. He raised the opening to his lips and drank the liquid. Everybody in the van laughed except for Dib.

“Swamp water...” Zim confirmed.

“Holy shit, Bruno can you believe it, we got a total virgin on our hands,” Avril cooed. Bruno nodded. He doesn’t talk much.

Ziggy walked over to Zim with a lighter, “Zim, my man, here, inhale when I say so.”

And Zim did.

“...so it turns out, she WAS Irken, and she had traveled all the way here to destroy me!” 

His audience ate up his tales of alien shenanigans. Zim felt very fuzzy, almost asleep, and the hot boxed van made it all a little harder to see who was enjoying his stories. Gaz looked a little concerned, looking dead at Zim as if she wanted him to stop talking. But Avril, Gaz’s cool, older crush seemed amused, so what does Gaz know? He got a constant stream of chuckles from Bruno, which was rewarding, and even better, Ryan had stepped out to call his mom, so no unwanted company was present! Zim could feel Dib next to him. Hell, he was practically laying on the boy in this baked state of mind, but for the life of him he couldn’t turn his head to see Dib’s expression. Ziggy laid on the floor, asking the most far out questions.

“So wait, this alien chick Tak, she looked totally human?”

“Yes! Her disguise was even better than mine, shockingly!” Zim spoke loudly.

“Man, this concept is great, you should write a comic! Could you draw that shit, Bruno?” Ziggy asked. Bruno nodded.

Gaz stared dead into Zim’s puffy eyes, “I hope you know this is the last time you’re getting stoned.”

“Oh relax Gazzy, this kid is great! So fucking funny,” Avril reassured.

Gaz blushed over the nickname.

Ziggy turned his head a little to look up at Dib from the floor, “You sure you don’t want any man?”

“Hm? Oh yeah I’m good, I’ve been trying to stay sober lately.”

Zim spoke very loudly, “Which really is a shame, Dib-stink. We have similar substances like this on Irk, but not for recreation. When an Irken is re-encoded the process is so painful and horrific, that most will have to be subdued so they don’t fight back!” He laughed, leaning his head on Dib’s shoulder. Dib coughed and stood up.

“Yo Zig I’m gonna go take a leak,” he said hastily.

“Aight brother, you know the rules, me piss corner es su piss corner,” Ziggy said, lighting the joint in his mouth.

Dib flashed a thumbs up, then left the van. Zim sat up, now lacking the warmth he had from Dib’s abnormally warm body. He wanted the warmth back. Zim felt really foggy and soon found himself trying to fight for a grasp of reality, worrying if he did something to drive Dib away. Ziggy noticed this, and sat next to the struggling alien.

“Relax man, just chill,” he said in an easy going voice.

“Yes... no, no! Zim needs to... Zim needs...”

“The world is not ending my dude, just enjoy yourself.”

Zim couldn’t allow himself to relax. He wondered why. It felt so good to just let himself fall into a state of complete haze. No, no something was amiss. The way Dib acted so dismissive, that was rubbing Zim the wrong way. He needed to know what was wrong. 

“Can Zim step out for a moment? It’s too stuffy in here, I need to think.”

“It’s all good man. If you need anything, let us know.”

Zim hopped out of the van and closed the door behind him. He had forgotten how cold it was. Mid January was brutal. He shivered, and looked around for Dib, and found him at the far end of the alleyway, talking to Ryan. He slinked over, not caring if they saw him or not. They didn’t notice him, and continued on with their conversation. 

Ryan awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets, “Dib, you know what I mean...”

“You liked me because I look like a man, how does that not count?” Dib sounded pained.

“Because it’s... you know, you’re different.”

Dib scoffed, “I cannot believe you. You’re so closeted— I— The amount of internalized homophobia you have is hurting you so much, and I know you hate yourself so you ‘don’t care’, but it’s also hurting the people around you!”

“Dib, you have no idea what I’m going through. You have such an easy time saying that you’re a gay man. There is so much pressure to conform to a label and I have no idea where I fit. I could just be confused!”

“You’re clearly fucking confused! I don’t give a shit if you still have feelings for me or not, I’m over it, but saying that what we had ‘doesn’t count’ is bullshit!”

“I was just experimenting!”

“And you  _ liked _ it!”

“But that doesn’t make me gay because you’re not a real man!”

Zim stepped in. He marched in between the two boys, clenched his fist, and decked Ryan in the face, causing him to fall to the ground. Ryan scrambled back, holding his nose and looking up at Zim. Dib gasped, and Zim looked at his knuckles, now bruised. Something had come over Zim, an instinct. He was clouded from understanding due to his high. Ryan got to his feet, checking if his nose was bleeding. It wasn’t.

“Freak...” was all he could say, and he hobbled back to the van.

Zim met Dib’s gaze. He looked amazed, thankful, but surprised.

“Can we go home now...?” Zim asked, clearly too high to be here right now.

Dib nodded, audibly holding back tears, “Yeah...”

They stood, staring for a bit.

“Are you going to kiss me again?” Zim said. His voice sounded concerned, but he didn’t mean it like that. He just figured that as of late they found themselves in this same situation often. One of them was intoxicated, it was an emotional moment, and Dib had his lips on his mind. Instead, Dib just hugged him tightly, and Zim realized two things as he hugged him back. One, Dib didn’t pity Zim. He was grateful for him. He provided a lot of the support that was lacking in his life. And two, Zim realized why he was doing this. Why he was going against almost everything he knew as an Irken just for a life form. He was a glitch. A glitch who had feelings for Dib.

Later that night, around 3 in the morning, once he had sobered up, Zim sat in the silence of his room undergoing minor “surgery” on his PAK. Gir was a huge help, the placement of the metallic bulb was almost right out of Zim’s reach. He watched Gir shuffle things around by holding up a mirror, and he instructed him where to put what. When he spotted the nucleus, the control center of his PAK, he told Gir how to remove it safely. Gir passed it to Zim, a pink cord kept it attached to the interior of the PAK. Zim put on microscopic goggles and got to work on re-encoding himself. There was no Irken equivalent of a free thinker, so he had a lot of loopholes to create and a long night ahead of him. The small laser pen he worked with stung a little, but this was a necessary operation. His PAK still thought he was an invader, which needed to change. He accidentally hit a sensitive piece of metal with the pen, and he cursed under his breath in his native tongue.

“That was a bad word,” Gir stated.

“Yeah. Very perceptive of you,” Zim rolled his eyes.

“Thank youuu!”

A knock sounded from the door.

“Come in!” Zim screamed.

Dib stepped in, a nervous smile plastered on his face. Dib had two resting faces, nervous smile and anxious sweat, so this could mean one of many things.

“Hey Zim I- what the hell are you up to?”

To someone without context, it looked as if the metal PAK on Zim’s back had exploded, leaving metal entrails scattered across the bed.

“Re-encoding myself so my PAK is no longer programmed for an invader.”

“Is that... safe?”

Zim shrugged, “Ehh, I’m a genius so it’s fine. I did this once before when I quit Foodcourtia so I could go from a fry cook to an invader again, but now I’m just trying to code myself as... me.”

“Freaky, but cool. Very District 9,” Dib crossed his arms, fascinated.

“Is that another Urth movie?”

Dib beamed, “You’re catching on!”

Zim nodded and continued to work, “I suppose this is the equivalent of giving myself a piercing. You must be amazed that your act of stupidity has inspired the almighty Zim.”

“Oh yeah, color me thrilled,” Dib sat on the side of the bed, watching Zim work intently.

Zim paused, “What color would that be..?”

“What?”

“Thrilled.”

“It’s just a saying.”

“Ah,” Zim nodded, then went back to coding himself.

Dib waited a moment before talking, a painful moment, “So about earlier...”

Zim’s fingers slipped and he burned his finger on the laser.

“Ack!”

“Shit! You okay?” Dib reached out but pulled his hand back quickly.

Zim gathered himself, “It is imperative that you do not distract me while I work.”

“Would you rather talk about this tomorrow?”

No, he would not. It would eat him alive not knowing, “It’s already in the air, so go ahead.”

“You didn’t have to—,” Dib stopped and reworded himself, “Thank you for defending me.”

Zim shifted a little, “No need for thanks. That worm is your inferior and he needs to know it.”

“It was a little violent but I think he finally got the message.”

Zim itched the base of his antennae, “My people are naturally violent. It was my first reaction thanks to my impaired judgement.”

“Yeah, I told you not to smoke.”

“I apologize for going against your advisement.”

Dib sat on the edge of the bed, “No it’s fine, I guess I was just worried that your body would react weird and they’d all find out that you’re an alien.”

“I see,” Zim scanned Dib’s stressed brow and frowned, “Something else is on your mind. Why did you come in here?”

Dib swallowed dryly, “You didn’t have to interfere. Why did you?”

“Zim does what he wants. Besides, I hate him. No one is allowed to degrade you but me.”

Dib smiled to himself, and raised an eyebrow at Zim, who was vigorously trying to keep his eyes on the nucleus of his PAK.

“I’m so used to dealing with Ryan’s bullshit alone. I’m used to dealing with all my shit alone. I dunno, I don’t particularly like talking to people about this.”

“Then why did you keep coming to me for help?”

“Well, you’re different. Not like most ‘people’ in my life, wouldn’t you agree?”

Zim shrugged, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been sober for an extended period of time. Was this due to shame or my advice?”

“I wouldn’t call you insulting my coping mechanisms advice but sure.”

Zim had to laugh, “Now that Zim has experienced such substances I now know how you fell into such habits. You’re afraid and it is much easier to become fogged in liquids and smoke than to face it all!”

“I’m not afraid!” Dib bluffed, “And besides, what do you know? Sure, you know what it’s like to be high. But you’ve also made it very clear that Irkens are unfeeling so I’m sure that you guys don’t deal with shit like this. And I can respect that, it’s just extremely... alien.”

“We are far superior in every way so it is easy to console your woes. Besides, how very offensive of you to assume. Zim is entangled in an enlightenment period, and may have realized something. Maybe Irkens are just brainwashed drones and those who do feel things are the normal ones. Ever think of that?” He looked at Dib sternly.

“What... what is that supposed to mean..?” Dib sounded hopeful.

“It means that I’m busy,” Zim deflected any more conversation on the topic.

Dib scoffed, “Whatever, I was just leaving, anyways.”

He got up to leave and marched to the door. Zim watched him as he got further away, then called out after him.

“I may not know how you humans operate, but I’ve been on this planet long enough to understand some things. You seem extremely unhappy due to your unfortunate circumstances. So was I. Instead of letting yourself perish, take matters into your own hands. If you hate it here so much, why stay?”

Dib inhaled to argue, but the offhand comment actually gave him an idea. 

“Zim you mad genius,” he shook Zim by the shoulders with excitement. 

“NO TOUCH!!!” Zim screamed, gesturing to the PAK pieces laying about. Dib apologized before bouncing out of the room. Zim had to stop Gir from following, but they could hear Dib wake up his sister and pitch his plan for an impromptu road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t have much else to say but i’m trying to update as quickly as possible ! i think i’ve posted a little more then half of the fic. once this project is done i might do some crossover bs bc again cringe culture is dead


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no warning for this chapter! just some goofing around and sweet dialogue. enjoy :)

By noon that Friday they were gone. Off on the road with nothing but themselves and a few bags of necessities. The three piled their belongings in the trunk of Dib’s shiny car he got for his sixteenth birthday last year. Zim, having obviously overpacked, struggled to hoist his giant bag into the van. Dib helped him.

“What the fuck could you have possibly packed so much of? You only wear that hoodie,” Dib said, putting his own bag next to Zim’s.

“It is unwise to be underprepared. As a seasoned traveler of the cosmos I know I must bring everything I own if I am gone for a prolonged period of time!” Zim said confidently.

Gaz spoke from inside the trunk as she rearranged the contents,”Oh yeah? Where have you been, Zim?”

He improvised with something he’s heard countless times as a common human comeback, “Your mother’s residence.”

Dib pinched the brim on his nose, “Alright, can we please just go?” 

“Aw, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” Gaz sneered as she took the keys from Dib.

“Woah woah hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Dib tried to stop her.

“Driving. Duh,” she smacked his hand away,

“You only have your learners. What if we get pulled over??”

“Then Zim blasts the cop with a freeze ray. Dude, c’mon, I have a place in mind and it’s a surprise for you. So you get to ride shotgun Mr. Cranky,” Gaz threw the keys up in the air and caught them, then hopped in the driver's seat and revved the engine.

Without any argument and a sparking curiosity, Dib grabbed the passenger seat, leaving Zim in the back with empty Monster cans and balled up piles of trash. Dib’s car smelled like him; disgusting. Zim hated it, yet he kept sniffing the intoxicating stench.

Dib turned to look at Zim behind him, “You excited for your first road trip?” His smile stretched from ear to ear.

Zim was extremely excited, but he didn’t want to show it. He didn’t want them to know how sheltered he was, and how this trip was an opportunity for him to satisfy his natural wanderlust.

“Depends, will this end like New Years?” He asked jokingly, hoping to diffuse the tension brewing inside himself. Keeping a crush secret was harder than Zim expected. He spoke quiet enough so only Dib could hear.

Dib stiffened and glanced towards Gaz quickly. His smile faded every so slightly. He snapped back towards Zim and reassured him, “You’re gonna have a great time.”

Gaz popped a CD into the player, and blasted riot grrl as she finally sped out of the driveway. Dib cheered as they hit the road. Zim watched the Membrane household disappear over the horizon line

“Gir might destroy the house,” Zim said under his breath. He allowed himself to relax a little, and his first instinct was to poke Dib’s neck through the little hole in his headrest. Dib paid him no mind, he was bopping his head to the music and looking like a fool.

“Ahh, the open road,” he started narrating, “It feels so good to be out here, it’s so freeing. Who knows what adventures lay ahead,” and he turned to Zim, “You know!?”

“Pff, yes. Oh how I know, the times I’ve spent on the open road,” he lied. In his 160+ years, he’d never experienced a road trip. He smiled, trying to humor Dib the best he could. He liked seeing how excited the boy got.

Dib smiled wildly and continued, “Gaz, I have a hinting suspicion on where you’re taking us. Is it perhaps the small town that has a haunted history I told you about? The one with the story of the twins who died in that house fire!? Ooh man that would be sick! I plan to interview the natives the moment we get there.”

“Natives? Ugh god, Dib, just say people,” Gaz inhaled slowly though her teeth, “Actually you’re wrong. I was thinking we hit up someplace more touristy. How does a little joint called Point Pleasant, West Virginia sound?” She pursed her lips, bracing herself, knowing Dib would freak. Dib went rigid and stared at his sister intently, before erupting into childlike glee and shaking Gaz by the arms.

“OH YOU MOTHER FUCKER ARE YOU SERIOUS???”

“I AM DRIVING PLEASE,” the car swerved, so Dib stopped. Gaz straightened the wheel and continued, “Yeah I know how much that would mean to you and Zim told me you’re kinda going through it so I wanted to surprise you. Surprise.”

Dib looked through the rear view mirror at Zim, who gave him a thumbs up and an awkward, toothy smile. 

Dib beamed, “You guys, wow, this is... thank you guys!!”

“Glad you’re excited, dummy,” Gaz smiled at her brother and flipped him off affectionately. Dib did the same.

Zim ask Dib, “What’s so special about this specific destination?”

“Well you see, there’s this thing at Point Pleasant, they call it... the Mothman!” He made a gesture for theatrics, “It’s this crazy cryptid with bright red eyes and giant black wings! The photographical evidence of him is so good, let me pull it up,” he took out his phone, “I don’t understand how there’s a shadow of a doubt with this one.”

He handed Zim his phone, and Zim scrolled through the photos of what looked a winged man with a grainy resolution. Zim would need more convincing than this, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’m going to catch him. Tonight. If I could just get one look at him... Zim, I could use your help!” Dib looked hopeful. There no way in Hell Zim could say no to him.

“Consider his capture done!” Zim announced, causing a giddy noise to escape Dib’s lips.

Gaz chimed in, “Well while you two go on your nerdy ghost hunt, I’m going to finally have some relaxing me time.”

“Mothman is not nerdy and he is not a ghost!” Dib corrected.

“This Mothman will be an easy fight. With my pure awesomeness and your, er, Dib-ness, we can accomplish anything,” Zim said confidently, “What are its weaknesses? I must mentally prepare.”

“Well the main thing is that it’s huge. He’s like a big man with wings that are said to be ten feet in length.”

“So aim for the wings, I understand.”

“No we don’t want to kill it! I just need some sort of proof that it exists. Then everyone will know the name Dib Membrane as the renowned paranormal investigator,” Dib looked off, longingly, causing Gaz to break into a fit of giggles.

Zim defended Dib, “I respect this! Reputation is everything where I’m from. Zim will assist in any way he can,” he clenched his fist, determined.

“Wait, Zim, you suggested aiming for the wings. Did you bring a gun??” Gaz glanced back at Zim through the rear view mirror.

“...No,” Zim said, kicking his laser gun under his seat.

They continued to drive for about three hours, stopping when they needed to pee, and taking turns with the aux cord. Eventually, the tank needed a refill, so Gaz pulled off the highway to the nearest gas station, and as she filled the van up with gas, the other two wandered inside the convenience store for snacks and to freshen up in the bathroom.

Dib stood in front of the slushy machine, in deep thought, muttering to himself what he should get. He eventually decided, and filled himself a blue slushy. Zim stood at his side, hoodie up and fists shoved in his pockets. He shifted in place and cringed at the sound of the sticky floor on the bottom of his shoes.

“How can you humans indulge in sustenance from a place like this?? It’s filthy!!”

Dib sipped his drink, “Don't you have a planet called Foodcourtia? I can't imagine it being much nicer.”

“Well imagine harder because it is!! I was banished and had to work there as a food slave for thirty years,” Zim shivered at the memory.

“This place may be gross, but they have blue raspberry slushies, and they’re worth it,” Dib gestured to the cup in his hand. 

Zim took a deep inhale through his sniffer and could smell the syrup from where he stood. He hated when Dib was right, but it smelled overly sweet, and Irkens had a thing for sugar.

“Elaborate,” Zim demanded.

“Sugar on ice, Zim, and it’s blue,” Dib knew exactly what he was doing.

Zim’s obnoxiously long alien tongue fell out of his mouth, drooling.

“Zim would like to partake,” he confirmed, and pointed to the largest cup, “the BIGGEST size there is.”

Dib complied and filled Zim a drink of his own. Zim watched with childlike wonder in his eyes.

“We have something similar to this on Irk, except the ice is served warm and you pour the syrup yourself.”

Dib shuddered at the thought, “That sounds both scientifically implausible and just plain wrong. Weird ass alien drinks,” and he stuck his tongue out in disgust.

“It wasn’t a drink, Dib-stupid, it was a dish!”

“Sounds gross,” Dib smirked, now just trying to get a rise out of him.

“It is an Irken delicacy, you intolerant fool! Now gimme!” Zim reached for the drink.

Dib handed it to him hastily, “Hey hey, no need to tear my arm off! Don’t drink it all before we pay.”

Zim snatched it away from him and started taking feverish sips, realizing how hungry he actually was. Then he froze, a sharp pain cutting through his brain like a piece of glass. He screamed.

“RRRAAA YOU TRICKED ME!!” He said through gritted teeth, clenching his head.

“It’s just a brain freeze dumbass, that's what happens when you drink ice too fast,” Dib rolled his eyes and sipped his slushy slowly.

Zim squinted through the pain, and looked at his drink, “Tasty, but dangerous. I have much to learn about Earth snacks.”

Dib chuckled, and looked at Zim fondly. Zim reciprocated the gesture awkwardly.

“So ehh, do you recommend any more gas station snacks?”

“Oh yeah, the good chips,” Dib said confidently, and he lead them through the isles to a rack of different flavored Lays. With an excited “Yes!”, he grabbed the pickle flavored ones.

Zim made a face, “They look kind of, not good.”

“Well they are good! They’re so fucking good, Zim.”

Zim read the label over and over again, “Aren’t pickles a sort of vegital stalk brined in salt? The crunchy green doodads?”

“Yes, and the flavor works on so many levels in chip form. It’s truly a feat of modern day science,” Dib said proudly.

Zim raised an eyebrow, but went along with it. He thought for a moment, all he really wanted to do was impress Dib. He then got an idea.

“Can I see them?”

Dib handed him the chips, “Alright, but we should probably go and pay.”

Zim smirked. He had seen humans do this countless times, whether while in a supermarket restocking his rations or out on a mission studying human society. Without a word, he shoved the bag into the pocket of his oversized hoodie. Dib raised an eyebrow.

“Why pay? Gaz always said that if it is a chain then it is free reign, and I have seen about fifteen of these stations along the highway this whole trip,” Zim recited with pride.

“Zim, you’re not shoplifting. Knowing you, you're going to get caught, so if anyone asks, I have no idea what you’re doing.”

“You do not trust me? The almighty?? I’m hurt, Dib,” he put on a fake pout, “Zim will get away with thieving all the snacks he pleases, behold!”

The alien marched to the candy section and began piling Haribo products into his jacket. Dib watched, knowing that there’s no way this could end well.

“You’re being irrational,” Dib noted, sipping his slushy.

“And you’re a killjoy!” Zim stuck his tongue out. He felt a presence behind him and he turned to face the employee that looked down on him with a tired glare.

“Sir, are you going to pay for those?” The worker looked to be in his early thirties, and was clearly a broken man.

Zim stammered, “I— Ehh I was just—“

“Great,” the worker said in monotone as Zim hurried to unpack his jacket. Dib watched the exchange with a deadpan expression, sipping his slushy. He paid the cashier for their drinks and apologized on Zim’s behalf, and the two walked back to the van. Gaz sat on the hood of the car smoking a cigarette. When she saw the two approach, she dropped it and put it out with the soul of her boot.

“What did y’all get?”

“Slushies,” Dib held up his cup, and Zim was busy drinking his.

They all piled back into their previous seats. Gaz started the car and drove off. Rather than music, pleasant conversation reverberated in the van. Zim hesitated before tapping Dib on the shoulder.

Dib turned, “Yeah man?”

Zim handed him the pickle chips that were hidden in his pocket. Dib’s eyes widened.

“Oh shit, you actually did it,” Dib lit up.

“You did not trust Zim could do it. This bounty is on me, fellow scavenger,” Zim tried to sound bold, but he was really just pleased that Dib recognized his triumph. Zim couldn’t help his pride show through, and a smirk sat plastered on his face. 

“Are you proud of yourself?” Dib asked. Zim wasn’t sure which part of the situation he was referring to, but he answered without hesitation.

“Yes, yes I am. Why, are you impressed?”

“Oh yes, very impressed,” he said, half sarcastic, finally shoving a handful of the bounty in his mouth. Zim buzzed from the admiration.

“Now let’s see if these live up to their reputation,” Zim said, stealing a few chips from the bag. Dib looked astounded, looking from the stolen chips, then to Zim, and back to the chips.

“Okay, fuck you for that.”

Zim shoved them into his mouth. He chewed, in deep thought, then swallowed, smacking his lips.

“They kinda suck!” Zim finally noted.

Dib gasped dramatically, and grabbed his shirt at his heart, “I’m hurt by that, Zim.”

“Wounded, even?” Zim smirked harder.

“Piss off, I have excellent taste in snacks.”

“Yes yes, the painful ice drink and vegetable chips. You know, where I come from, snacks are supposed to taste good.”

Dib persisted with his dramatic act, “I am not speaking to you, Zim.”

“If you insist, that would most definitely make the rest of the trip more pleasurable, but have fun being bored out of your gigantic head until you decide to speak to me again!”

Dib let a smile poke through his facade and he said with almost admiration, “You’re so stupid.”

Zim felt his face heat up, and all he could say in retaliation was, “Zim is a genius...”

Dib laughed, and Zim felt his heart palpitate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if its a chain its free reign and i live by that. i love the thought of zim and dib going cryptid hunting together so this is my way of incorporating it. next chapter is mothman time ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight a few updates! i finally decided on how i’m going to divvy up the chapters so thats why it finally says ch 10/14. also warning for nsfw towards the end of the chapter. it took me a while on whether or not to post it but i decided what the hell. more on that at the end

After about five more hours of travel, they drove past a sign welcoming them to Point Pleasant. Dib insisted that they should pull over and take a photo next to it. By the time they made it into the city, it was well after dark. They drove around aimlessly, looking for a place to grab some grub, and decided on a local Tex-mex joint where they each got free paper sombreros and Zim was able to try horchata for the first time. Afterwards, they booked individual rooms at a motel that they chose specifically for the indoor pool, which Gaz made a beeline for.

Zim stayed glued to Dib’s side as they unloaded his car of any and all paranormal hunting equipment in the parking lot of the motel. They dressed themselves in go-pros, thermal and night vision cameras, microphones, and bags full of wires and charging stations.

“Zim feels like a fool,” he said, observing their getups judgmentally.

“Well once we get real, hard evidence using these devices— don’t touch that. Once we get evidence we won’t be seen as fools anymore!” Zim rolled his eyes at the statement.

Dib clenched a determined fist, “We’ll set up base at the top of that hill,” he pointed to the woods that seemed pretty far away, “and sit and wait. I’ll wait all night if I have to!”

“I’m not sure about humans, but Irkens need sleep,” Zim grimaced.

“Oh come on Zim, this is the opportunity of a lifetime! Can’t you just stay up for one night?”

Zim stuck out his tongue, “I was hoping to try out my waterproof paste in the indoor swimming pool before we leave tomorrow, but I will allow you to make the call.”

“You want to go swimming?” Dib asked in an almost endearing way.

“I mean, I don’t know, I’m making a real scientific breakthrough. No Irken has ever had to face water before, at least not Earth water. Your planet is so polluted that water reacts like acid on our skin. This paste is revolutionary, and I’ve never explored it with anything bigger than a bathtub,” Zim shifted nervously, “It is for science!”

“No yeah I get it. Okay sure, we can go swimming. For science, of course,” Dib said in a jokingly affirming way.

“Okay...” Zim hid a smile, and Dib smiled back.

The hike wasn’t so bad. Walking through town dressed like Bigfoot enthusiasts was worse than the actual trek. Zim didn’t like strange attention drawn to him, and looking like a ghost hunting jackass didn’t help the fact. After a clumsy jump over a metal fence and a few rough encounters with thorn bushes, they landed on their desired stakeout hill. Dib steadied one of their five cameras on a tripod and started a recording, then settled down on the grass next to Zim, taking notes in a small notepad occasionally.

“You have no idea how excited I am, Zim. Finally, people will respect me.”

“People respect you,” Zim assured with a grin, “humans are just as stupid as you are so why wouldn’t they.”

“Oh fuck off,” Dib shoved him a little, and Zim lost his balance.

“I’m serious, you are clearly a more intelligent specimen than most. If they cannot see that without a photograph of the mothed-man then the joke is on them! HA!”

Dib seemed slightly taken aback by the compliment, and became slightly giddy despite himself, “Thanks, Zim.”

“Don’t take that the wrong way I just— I am clearly your superior and as such I can tell you are far better than other humans...” Zim tripped over his words numerous times, and slowly gave up, not knowing what his point was anymore.

Dib snorted, “Oh yeah, because you’re so superior, I quiver in fear every time your looming, three foot shadow casts over me.”

“I was genetically engineered to be a soldier, so as you should!” Zim stuck his nonexistent nose in the air.

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say you filthy alien,” and Dib went back to taking notes. The quiet gave Zim a moment to admire the night sky. He made some mental mapping notes, recognizing not most but a few planets and stars above them. He laid back in the grass for a better view.

“The death of that star could wipe out your planet, and that one, aaand that one too,” Zim pointed out.

Dib closed his notebook, satisfied with the work, and squinted up at the sky, “Good to know...”

Zim pointed out another one, “That’s no star, that’s a discarded alien escape pod caught in Urth’s orbit.”

Dib’s mouth hung open in awe, “Shut the fuck up. That’s incredible! God, the things I would do to get a look at it.”

“Good luck getting to it, it’s not like you’re a seasoned space explorer,” Zim said with an eyebrow raised and a smirk plastered on his face.

“I could be,” Dib laid down on his side so he could face Zim at eye level, “What if we went and explored space. We could use your vort cruiser or whatever.”

Zim flushed, but couldn’t help but laugh at the misuse of the word, “You mean my Voot. Vort is a planet, home to the universe’s most comfortable couch, and to a very popular meat byproduct food. As for my Voot, it was unfortunately compromised when The Tallest revoked my power. But the one in your garage, Tak’s old Voot, who knows. I haven’t messed with it much since I broke in but I could probably get it running for an interstellar visit.”

“Really!?” Dib smiled ear to ear, then composed himself, “Well, I mean it wouldn’t hurt to learn more about space stuff.”

“Oh yes, for science, right?” Zim let a soft smile settle on his face.

Dib returned the smile, “Yeah, for science.”

A shape above them, a silhouette, blocked out the moonlight. Dib shot his attention towards it, followed by Zim, and the two looked up at what looked like a giant bird sail the wind, then dive down into nearby forest. Dib shot up from where he sat and tripped over all the equipment he set up, uncoordinated and running on adrenaline.

“IT’S HIM IT’S REALLY HIM!!!” The boy chanted as he ran deep into the woods, hot on the trail. Zim activated his PAK legs so he could keep up. Quickly he learned that the speed of his PAK legs were quicker than Dib, so he wound up just picking Dib up by the jacket with one of the spider-like appendages and carrying him as he ran. This was much to Dib’s surprise but he just went with it, shouting at him to just go. After nearly tripping over numerous rocks and vines, Zim stopped cold and looked around feverishly, having lost the creature. Then, he spotted something. An old, rundown, abandoned, two story cottage. Zim placed Dib down gently, then pointed.

“It’s in there.”

Dib brushed himself off and marched towards the building. Zim followed, intimidated by the condemned structure. Dib opened the door, and an overwhelming smell of rot hit them. Zim backed up a little.

“Ehh, you lead!”

Dib rolled his eyes, but remained determined and grabbed Zim’s arm and slowly lead them in. The interior was not a pretty sight. It was run down to all hell, with no furniture except for a single couch with various stains and rips. Every window was broken and glass scattered the floor, along with dirt, sticks, and fungus. Spiders inhabited every crevice.

“How good are human’s night vision..?” Zim said, noticing that Dib was squinting really hard.

“I can hardly see anything,” Dib confirmed.

Zim inhaled deeply, and a soft, pink glow from his PAK illuminated the room.

“Is that better?” 

The hand on Zim’s arm relaxed and slipped down until it was in Zim’s hand. Dib looked to their hands, then nodded, and pushed forward towards the stairs, which gave out a groan with each step. Upstairs was just as unpleasant. A sizable hole in the roof let in a little natural light, making it easier to see. Rustling came from a broken wall leading into a crawl space. Dib readied his night vision camera and creeped over to it.

“This is it…” Dib said to himself.

The human boy inched closer. Inside the crawl space, the figure stood tall and hissed at Dib.

“EEK!” Zim screamed, and the light from his PAK glowed brighter, illuminating the great horned owl and it’s two chicks. Dib sunk a little, and lowered his camera.

“That’s an owl,” he looked around, “It was an owl??”

Zim studied the creature, and was surprised that the creature wasn’t of paranormal origin, “What is an owl..?”

Dib didn’t respond. Zim continued, “Perhaps it is a special owl? The largest owl on record!”

“IT”S JUST A FUCKING OWL ZIM!” Dib kicked a piece of litter, a can, which clinked against the wall. Dib stormed back down the stairs, grumbling how this was just another case of Membrane’s son chasing after nothing. Zim hurried after him. It was relieving to leave the building, fresh air had never smelled so good.

“Dib-thing,” Zim grabbed Dib’s wrist, stopping him from going any further.

“What!? We have to go get the other camera,” Dib voice sounded pained.

Zim sighed, “Dib-thing, you have provided me with a place to live after I was discarded by my own race. You showed me kindness when it was not deserved and to you I am forever grateful. I have no other purpose in life, so I propose a new offer. Turn me in.”

Dib’s anger quickly turned to concern, “Zim— no, oh god no, I’m not going to do that.”

“I am living proof of everything that you have been after all of these years! I know you won’t do anything to hurt me, you can make sure I’m not dissected—“

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t be able to stay in society. You would get locked up in a lab for the rest of your life, you’re not a display Zim! You belong here with me— us...” Dib stuttered.

Zim blushed, then growled, “Urggh you confuse me so!”

He let go of Dib’s wrist and marched forward.

Dib scoffed, “Why are you so pissed that I don’t want you to be treated like a zoo animal!?”

Zim turned on his heels back to Dib, “I am trying to help your reputation! Your pride! You wanted to catch this illusive beast for praise. I can understand that need for recognition. The concept is very Irken so I relate to you. But when I offer myself as your ticket to success you turn it down!”

Dib sputtered, trying to form words, “Because MOTHMAN is not YOU!” He relaxed a little, “I care about you more than just a case, Zim.”

Zim was taken aback from the genuine care, but was interrupted by Dib’s phone buzzing in his pocket.

“The hell?” Dib took his phone out and read over whatever message he received. His concern grew back into anger, then he went blank.

“What is it?” Zim raised an eyebrow and reached for Dib’s phone. Dib let it fall into the Irken’s hands. The text was simply from a contact named “ryan”.

“yo, im @ some stupid function w/ the band. it kinda sux. i think im rlly drunk. i miss u. not just bc ur out of town. i dont like that zim kid, theres st wrong with him. i fucked up. i wanna get back 2gether.”

Dib sat down on a nearby log, laughing, “Are you fucking— ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? SHIT!!”

Zim boiled with anger, but he had no idea what to say. He composed himself and sat next to Dib, who was resting his face in his palms.

“Dib, I...” was all he could muster.

Dib let out a halfhearted laugh, “The guy’s real good at timing, I’ll give him that.”

“What do you mean..?” Zim fidgeted with his hands nervously.

Dib’s expression fell into something more neutral. He looked at Zim, then glued his eyes back on the ground.

“I dunno.”

The hike was easier downhill. During the whole journey back, Dib kept reading the text over and over and over. It made Zim feel some sort of way. Anger? No, no this feeling was laced with anxieties. Zim was jealous, and worried that Dib would allow Ryan back into his life. Dib was not very street smart, he lacked parental support and sought validation in any way he could, just as he did to Zim when he was drunk.

They split momentarily to go to their rooms and change before hitting the indoor pool. Zim was lent a pair of Dib’s old swim trunks, and putting them on was strange. He felt too exposed, too alien, even with his wig and contacts on. He slathered his waterproof paste across every inch of his naked body. After a moment of staring in the mirror, making sure he could pass as a human, he opened his door. Dib stood there, a hand raised as if he was just about to knock. The human quickly looked Zim over with flushed cheeks before speaking.

“Oh, hey...”

“Apologies for the wait,” Zim felt even more shy under the human’s gaze.

“No no you’re good, you ready?”

Zim caught himself studying the details of Dib’s bare chest before answering, “Yes.”

The small Irken tripped on the way out the door, then marched proudly down the carpeted hall, humming an Irken military hymn. Dib walked behind him, still sluggish from the failed expedition and upsetting text, but something has caught his attention. He noticed how Zim’s PAK was fused to his spine. It didn’t look very detachable, which was Dib’s initial assumption.

“Does that thing... hurt?” He asked respectfully.

Zim halted and looked towards what Dib was gesturing to, awkwardly so as if his head rotation abilities were as limited as a human.

“Heh, no. It was applied before I took my first breath, I don’t know any different. Say, it’s like your human fingered nails. They’re very odd to me,” and he made a face.

Dib looked at his fingers knowingly and smiled.

Opening the door to the indoor pool was like entering an atmosphere of humidity and chlorine. Zim nearly choked, having not expected that.

Gaz was the only other person in the swampy room. She shot a look at them, and let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank Christ, I thought you were going to be another creepy old guy swimming laps,” she said.

Zim edged near the water carefully and cleared his throat, “Yes yes I admire your ability to acknowledge our superiority.”

“How’d the hunt go?” Gaz sat on the edge of the deep end with her feet in the water.

“It was underwhelming,” Dib admitted, regaining his spot next to Zim.

“No mothman?” She asked.

“No mothman.” Dib confirmed.

Zim groaned, “That wasn’t the only disappointment of the evening, get this, Dib got an instant text message from—“

“How was your night Gaz?” Dib interrupted.

Zim made a face and Dib acted like nothing was up. But Gaz could tell that there was something obviously messing with his head.

“Ah you know, I’ve just been here becoming soggier and soggier,” she answered.

“You could’ve come with us,” Dib mentioned.

“Nahh, I hate the woods. I’ve had a nice night to myself here.”

Dib stared at Gaz, a smile formed on his face, and without hesitation, he shoved Zim into the water.

The Irken hit the pool with a thrashed out splash. He would’ve heard the humans laughing if he wasn’t drowning. His PAK legs shot out, looking for something to hoist himself up onto, his vision being obscured as pool water collected under his contacts. Before he knew it, he was being dragged by a taller force. When they hit air, he gasped and was met by the mournful and apologetic face of Dib. The human’s hair, now wet, brushed against Zim’s forehead. Zim realized his taloned fingers were digging deeply into Dib’s flesh, and he let go.

“That one’s on me,” Dib apologized.

“You’re lucky I don’t strike you down this instant, Urth-stupid.”

Dib slowly released Zim in the shallow end, helping the Irken learn to float on his back. Gradually, Zim got the hang of it, running into a little trouble with his PAK wanting to flip him over onto his belly. From there, he mustered a small paddle and was able to propel himself into deeper water. He took a deep breath and pushed his way to the floor of the pool, relaxing when he hit the bottom. He spent a moment sitting there with his eyes shut, enjoying the feeling of a simulated sensory deprivation chamber, then shot back up for air when he has his fill.

Dib nodded, “Wow, you learn fast.”

“We have to in order to survive. No thanks to you almost making me drown.”

“Again, I said that one’s on me.”

Zim splashed him a little, and Dib hit him with the mega typhoon. 

“Guys, I hate to ruin the moment, but perhaps I can interest you not in a hot tub situation,” Gaz raised an eyebrow and gestured over to the jacuzzi.

“Yes oh my Goddd,” Dib practically moaned and he crawled out of the water, followed by Zim.

“What is— What’s a hot tub..?” Zim asked, almost embarrassed.

“Zim, it’s a tub,” Dib paused for dramatic effect, “but hot.”

Gaz walked over and started the jets, then stepped in herself, “It’s basically dude soup.”

“A little boy stew,” Dib sat in the water up to his neck and let out a sweet sigh.

Zim hesitated, “Is it boiling???”

“Nah it's just the jets. The bubbles feel nice, c’mon in,” Dib reassured.

Zim, still a little suspicious, stepped in, and a violent shiver ran up his spine. He quickly realized the comfort of the warmth and stepped in all the way, melting. The water reached up over his mouth and he blew relaxed bubbles.

Dib chuckled, “You look stupid.”

Zim could care less, he was in complete zen mode.

“So Dib,” Gaz started, “you’ll never believe who I got a text from.”

Dib froze up a little, and Zim eavesdropped from where he stood in the warm water.

“Who?” They both asked simultaneously, and Zim shut himself up.

“Little mister Ryan got a hold of some alcohol and started asking me about you,” Gaz said wearily.

“Oh,” Dib said horsley, “That’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

“I know it’s a bit of a touchy subject, and I don’t know exactly where you stand with him, hell, you never talk about it,” Gaz stated, and Zim realized that he might’ve been the first person Dib has ever opened up to.

“What did he say?” The boy asked casually.

“Just wanted to know if you ever talk about him. I think he misses you,” Gaz said through clenched teeth.

Dib’s cheeks heated up a little, and he nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Zim’s stomach turned, and he let himself sink back down under the water.

The jealousy was like a knot in his gut, a disease. Hours since they left the pool, Zim tossed and turned in his motel bed. He tried to get his mind off things by watching some cable television, but that was of no help either. The sitcom episode only highlighted his anxieties, and by the time it ended, he was shaking with worry. Why should he care so much if Dib got back together with Ryan? He broke it down in his mind, rationalizing. If Dib decided to go down this path, he would have his heart broken again. And why was he worried about Dib’s feelings? Because Zim cared deeply for the human, even more so than he’d care to say. It was killing him, and by 1:14 in the morning, Zim found himself marching down the carpeted hallway without his disguise to Dib’s room. He knocked louder than he initially meant to, and a few moments later, Dib stood before him, with sleep in his eyes and bed head that rocked the house.

“Ehh,” Zim picked his words carefully, “Don’t.”

“Um, what..?” Dib squinted down at Zim with no glasses.

“You were searching for an answer about how to proceed with your ex partner? And I say no, you should not reconnect with that sorry little man child. So, don’t,” Zim nodded, feeling satisfied with his response.

Dib blinked, now awake, and replied with sincerity, “Okay.”

Zim nodded again, pleased that he got his way, and now that he could rest easy, he turned on his heels and started back to his room.

“Wait,” Dib called after him. 

Zim stopped and turned to him.

“I wasn’t going to, I—I‘ve learned that lesson the hard way once before, I wasn’t really interested in reliving it. But why did you have to tell me this at one in the morning?”

Zim hesitated, antennae flicking, and Dib sighed.

“Come in, quickly, stupid of you to walk around like that,” and Zim scurried inside after Dib.

It was dark in the room, especially after the door was shut, and it smelled like Dib.

Zim sat on the edge of the bed, and Dib leaned on the wall, crossing his arms.

“Are you alright?” Dib started.

“Zim is fine, are  _ you _ ?”

Dib rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m okay, Zim.”

“The Ryan-human—...this was not supposed to happen. Gaz wished for the night to be pleasant for you.”

“It’s nothing I can’t deal with. Ryan has always been... difficult.”

“Yes, clearly.”

“So why did you wake me up?”

Zim blushed, and spoke quietly, “This is none of my business, I apologize. It was just keeping me up. I just want to,” he pretended to crush something in his hands, “RRRR, I don’t— It’s not my issue, it makes no sense.”

Dib’s eyes widened and he smiled smugly, “Zim, are you jealous!?”

Zim’s antennae fell flush against his head, “This has nothing to do with jelly! As an Irken, we don’t feel—ehh...” he caught himself saying empty words and stopped his train of thought.

“Oh my god, you are!” Dib looked a mix of bewildered and ecstatic, then his expression fell and he asked, “How..? Your species don’t...”

Zim swallowed dryly, and finally decided to come clean, “I glitched.”

“Glitched??”

“Something went wrong in my production. I’ve somehow always known I was...different, but I’ve denied it up until now. Being on Urth, living with you a-and Gaz—... I’m a defective Irken.”

Zim wasn’t sure how Dib would react. Out of Irken habit, he expected backlash. But Dib didn’t seem disgusted or anything. He almost seemed pleased.

“Take that as you wish,” Zim reiterated.

“So if you’re a glitch, what does that... mean?”

Zim sighed, “Dib, these past years that I have known you, you have been nothing but a nuisance, a pain in my squeedily spooch, and just an overall jackass.”

“This isn’t helping your point.”

“You’re extremely annoying, I mean really—“

“Zim.”

“Yes?”

“Stop talking.”

Zim complied. He sat quietly on the bed, scheming his next move, eyes glued to the silent boy leaning on the wall. Slowly, he shifted to his feet. His pacing made pleasant a pitter-patter as he walked across the otherwise silent room. Dib let his arms fall to his sides, relaxing, watching Zim decide what to do. Zim hesitated before standing on his toes to better face the human boy. He quickly licked his lips, dry from nerves, before planting a quick kiss on Dib’s lower lip, the only one he could reach. Dib tensed, but kissed back. Their breaths fogged the small space between them, and Zim kissed him again rhythmically.

Almost effortlessly, Dib hoisted Zim up to his level by the legs, and on instinct the Irken wrapped himself around the boy. Dib stumbled them over to the bed, letting himself fall against the sheets with Zim straddling him. They made out, the only sounds coming from their synchronized breathing and soft, helpless whines.

Dib brought a thigh up between Zim’s legs, and he gasped, parting from the kiss and leaning his head against Dib’s chest.

Dib exhaled, “I’m sorry I—“

“No you’re alright, I’m just—“

“A virgin?”

Zim glared, but he couldn’t argue. He kissed him again, this time a little harder. A soft chirp of arousal vibrated off the alien, and Dib made a noise of approval. It didn’t take long for Zim’s hands to travel low enough to push up Dib’s shirt, exposing his bare chest. He pulled away from the kiss to explore the uncharted two territory. Gently, he ran his thumb across one of the dulled scars, curious of their origin. He then carefully ran his finger over the adjacent nipple, which drew a hiss out from the stimulated boy. Zim himself didn’t have any, no Irken did. He wondered of their practical use. Intrigued, he flicked his tongue over it. Dib bucked up a little at the sensation.

“Oh...” he breathed.

“Oh?” Zim wondered aloud.

He let their legs intertwine, so his thigh was positioned in a similar fashion to Dib’s. He rocked his leg forward, receiving a quick moan from the human’s lips. Zim found a rhythm, and continued exploring the flesh with his mouth, leaving marks here and there. He let his hands fall on Dib’s hips, rocking them forward with each grind. After a while of just this, Dib began to shake under Zim. Desperately, he reached out and grabbed a fistful of Zim’s shirt as he cried out with a clenched jaw. And then he went limp, muttering breathless nonsense to himself.

Zim let himself lay down next to Dib, eyes agape, trying to process all that just happened. He tried not to overthink it, he wanted to focus on how nice Dib’s arms felt around him, his body’s heat.

Zim had a lot to say, but he started with, “That was quick.”

Dib laughed, “Shut up, it’s been a while...”

Zim smirked, “Lies, Zim is just a superior mate.”

Dib kissed him sweetly on the forehead, “Hey,” and he slowly slid off the bed onto his knees, “come here.”

Zim sat up and his legs swung over the side. The two gazed at each other, giving unspoken consent, and Dib got to work hiking down whatever leggings Zim had on. Seeing Dib like this was overwhelming. The way his eyes looked him up and down as the sensation of his tongue ran up his spine was something out of a dream. But on top of both of those factors, Zim liked the fact that he was able to look down on him the most. He felt tall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m gonna try and get the last four posted as quickly as possible bc i just want to be finished, i procrastinate too much. with that in mind i gave this chapter a lot of thought. its super long so i’m sorry, but i think i like this chapter the most. its also a little worrying to post bc theres mild smut at the end. i fought with the morals behind this kind of stuff in my mind for a while, and asked numerous people what they thought. at the end of the day teenagers fool around. i myself am one. as long as i’m not an adult writing this kind of stuff or as long as they’re not too young i feel like this is ok. correct me if i’m wrong and i can make changes to the chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok epic next chapter. i’m going to try and post the rest today while i’m at it. shit gets angsty from here on out

Gaz eyed the two boys over carefully while she stirred her bowl of cereal.

“Sleep well?” She asked, deadpan.

The motel buffet was fantastic to Zim. It was the breakfast array of his wildest imaginations. He had brought to the table plate upon plate of sugary goodness, and proceeded to stuff his face as Gaz interrogated them. Dib’s hair was in tangles, and his shirt did him no favors covering the visible bite mark in the crook of his neck.

“Yeah, I slept fine,” Dib averted eye contact and Gaz stared harder.

“You snore when you sleep,” Zim said nonchalantly behind a mouthful of waffles.

Gaz belted a hearty cackle, “OH MY GOD DID YOU GUYS FU—“

“NO WE Did not shut the fuck up Gaz...” Dib countered, blushing profusely.

“You guys totally had sex,” Gaz insisted.

“Nonsense Gaz-human,” Zim finally said, “I wouldn’t call it that if the Dib spilled with his pants still on.”

Both siblings choked on their drinks, and Dib looked at Zim with wide eyes.

“Hey Zim?” Dib started.

“Yes,” Zim cooed smugly.

“Stop talking.”

“You said that last night as well!”

Dib smacked a hand over Zim’s mouth, and Zim bit him. Gaz chuckled at the overly humorous couple.

“It’s about fucking time that something happened between you two, god. Hormonal preteen Dib was the worst to deal with.”

Zim shot a look at Dib, and he flushed as he spoke, “Well actually I um, kissed him on New Years...”

Gaz’s jaw fell open, “Holy shit you little whore.”

“Oh fuck you.”

“I’m happy for you two, seriously, you’re both little fucking freaks,” and she smiled at them.

Under the table, Dib slipped his fingers in between Zim’s, much to his surprise. But the world didn’t end, nothing bad happened. Zim squeezed Dib’s hand. At this moment, he felt completely content. No mission, no leaders, just his ability to express and feel love. That was enough.

The ride back was painless. It was full of pitchy singing to the radio and loud conversation full of laughter. This time, Dib drove. He was adamant about getting home after Zim put a worm in his ear about Gir destroying the house, so he told the others that he would be making no stops. Coincidentally, he was the one who drank two cups of coffee for breakfast, and three hours into the drive, he had to use the bathroom. So of course, surrounded by the people he loves most in this world, he was dared by both to piss into an empty soda can. Dib wound up missing the can completely and peed a little on his hand. He pulled over on the highway to finish in the woods while Zim and Gaz wolf whistled from the car.

They pulled back into the driveway around sunset. Gaz hopped out of the car and stretched, bitching to her brother about his stupid no stop policy, and how she wished that he got poison ivy on his ass. Zim popped the trunk and struggled with his luggage, so Dib happily assisted.

“I was thinking we could get Chinese for dinner?” Dib mentioned as he unlocked the door.

“Sounds good to me,” Gaz replied.

Zim raised an eyebrow as the three lugged their bags inside, “What sort of sustenance is that?”

“Oh you know, rice, noodles, that kind of stuff—“ Dib stopped dead in his tracks as he stared in the kitchen. Zim followed his gaze. Gir ran up to the three.

“Yayyy you’re back!!! I made a new friend while ya were gone!” And the undisguised robot gestured to the figure in the kitchen. Gaz stood next to her brother, and Zim stayed behind the two.

“Hey dad,” Gaz said, a little breathless.

Professor Membrane walked cautiously over to his kids, “Hello Gazeline, Dib, who’s this?”

They did wind up ordering Chinese, but no amount of Lo Mein could make up for over three months of absence. Zim was reintroduced as Dib’s childhood friend, and he was instantly recognized. Professor Membrane mentioned how he and Dib would play their little game of alien hunter, and he went on to say how Dib still hasn’t grown out of that fictional phase like Zim had. When the food finally arrived they gathered in the dining room like a normal Urth family, or so Zim assumed. It was dead silent at the table save for their smacking of Gir’s lips as he ate. Gaz resorted to burying herself in her game slave for comfort, and Dib stared daggers at his father. Zim didn’t know where to put himself in this situation, so he sat silent sipping his soda.

“So Zim,” Professor Membrane finally broke the silence, “this robot is yours? Did you build it?”

“Oh no it was a gift from My Ta—my parents,” Zim corrected himself.

“Are they also scientists?”

“No they’re just jackasses with too much privilege.”

Gaz snorted.

“Oh, I see...” The professor cleared his throat.

“Zim was kicked out, he’s been living with us since a few days after Christmas,” Gaz chimed in.

“Ah yes, that’s alright. I suppose you had a good New Years together then?” Membrane lit up a little.

“No,” Dib said without hesitation.

“Oh boy,” Gaz said under her breath.

Professor Membrane sighed, “Dib, I just want to say—“

“No, you know what, you don’t get to say anything. It has been three months, dad. Three months! You didn’t bother calling, you missed Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day!”

“Son, you have to understand that my job requires a lot from me. I have to be able to leave at the drop of a coin. Emergencies happen.”

“Then why didn’t you call? Or leave a fucking note??”

“I go to a lot of undisclosed locations, I can’t tell my whereabouts to anyone, even you two.”

“Just like how you told mom?”

Membrane was at a loss for words, “That was different.”

“I’m just trying to gauge if you’d even show up for say, my high school graduation, or when I get married in the future. What is the deciding factor of what’s important enough for your time?”

His dad could say nothing. The damage was already done. Dib rolled his eyes and forcefully pushed his chair out from under the table. Now standing, he looked over his dad, then to Zim, who gave him an apathetic look. Dib sighed, calming down a little.

“Whatever,” and he walked off, cursing loudly from the stairs. A door slam signified that he would not be coming out for the rest of the night.

Zim and Gir helped with the dishes. Gaz was the second to abscond to her room the moment she finished eating, and Zim felt extremely uncomfortable leaving the professor downstairs with his talkative robot. Now that it wasn’t just the kids in the house, he had his identity to hide. Gir would lick down each plate, hand it to Zim, and he would carefully place it in the dangerous sink of water and dish soap. He didn’t have any paste on, this was a risky game. Membrane engaged in small talk as he scrubbed the plates in soapy water, and Zim was able to deduce what kind of a person this man was. He clearly did care for his spawn, but had a funny way of showing it. And obviously he cared for his work. He told Zim stories of his latest achievements, and Zim acted like he knew of the numerous references that the man alluded to.

“...and of course, my company served in the production of creating the cure to bee sting fever,” he said with pride, and Zim nervously laughed.

“Wow, how very impressive,” he said, tripping over Gir.

The robot giggled, “That hurt!”

Membrane glanced down at the metal being, “So tell me about this little robot of yours. He was made by your parents?”

Zim swallowed dryly, “No it was from their company. My ehh, dads, are CEOs of a very underground robotics corporation...”

“Oh really? What’s the name, I might know it.”

“You wouldn’t! They’re based in, ehh, uhh, Alaska. They’re extremely unknown, their base of operation is our home, you know?”

“Ah yes, the baseline of a lot of major corporations stem from such estates, I understand. This is why I made sure not to sell out my company, and look at how big it has gotten!”

“Yes, quite tall,” Zim looked up at the human.

“What ever happened to you and your fathers? Why did they kick you out? I absolutely do not mind you staying with us, I’m never home enough for it to affect me,” and he belted a hearty laugh.

Zim laughed awkwardly in return, “Well ehh, Zim failed them... I was a disappointment to their reputation, so they saddled me with the shoddiest SIR unit and sent me on my way.” 

Membrane gave Zim a knowing look, and he ruffled his hair. Zim wasn’t prepared for this, he assumed it was a sign of human affection, but he jumped regardless, worried about his wig. His antennae could feel the touch through the synthetic fibers. It was a little uncomfortable, but he appreciated the gesture.

“I am very sorry to hear that,” the professor said.

Zim adjusted his posture, “It is alright, it has given me the opportunity to live for myself instead of constantly attempting to appease them.”

Membrane ran his gloved hand through his long, obnoxious cowlick, “Familial matters are very hard. I’m no stranger to this. Especially since the kid’s mother died...”

He cleared his throat, and continued on with the dishes. Zim looked at Gir, trying to find a reason to worm himself away from the situation, but the robot was aimlessly wandering into the living room. Zim could hear him turn the TV on.

“Curse you Gir,” Zim said under his breath.

The man continued, “Gazeline is a very independent person, she always has been. She is very unique and gets along very nicely by herself, so it is no surprise that it’s hard to reach her. But Dib,” he shook his head, and Zim’s full attention fell on him, “I have never quite understood my son. The closest we had ever been was when it came time for him to transition. He needed the support. But after that we kind of fell off. He’s brilliant, I don’t why he hasn’t realized that and pursued it instead of being caught up in his fantasies.” 

Zim boiled a little, but was able to retain himself when he spoke, “His brilliance isn’t measured by what you find to be a valid course of study. In all due respect, maybe if you recognized that then your relationship would be stronger.”

Membrane looked at Zim carefully. He looked as if he didn’t expect that, and hummed thoughtfully to himself.

“Perhaps I have miscalculated...”

“Just a thought.”

Professor Membrane sighed, and shook his head, clearly having a troubling time internally. The silence ate at Zim. He did not like this conversation. At least he could now tell Dib the unspoken truths that his father hid. Zim thought it could bring closure to some things, but he wasn’t sure if he was overstepping boundaries. Zim excused himself to his room after dinner was completely cleaned up. Halfway down the hall, he hesitated outside of Dib’s room. He let his knuckle rap softly against the wood.

“Dib-thing?”

No answer.

“Dib, I had a conversation with your dad. If you would like me to relay the information you know where to find me.”

Still no answer. Zim didn’t want to pry.

“I hope you’re alright,” he sighed and walked to his room.

Zim ran the shower and covered himself in his paste. Ironically, water had become his comfort. He liked the way it rained down against his back, where skin met PAK. While relaxing in the warmth, he thought about Dib. His Dib. He smiled, realizing that he was finally his. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt his human ever again. Zim soaked for about twenty minutes, then hopped out, dressing himself in a towel and going over to the sink to carefully study his reflection. That’s when the neighboring bedroom door opened. Professor Membrane stepped in and saw the alien that lived in his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not everyday you walk into your bathroom and see an alien using your shower. thats life!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight warning dib gets a lil bruised in this chapter but we’re nearing the endgame boys! the rest of the chapters will all be posted today :))

Dib stirred in his sleep. He dreamt of a fire. There was screaming, sounds of helicopters, sirens, chaos. He could hear familiar voices, but couldn’t decipher any of their words. He tossed and turned until he woke up in a cold sweat. He blinked numerous times, the ringing of the nightmare still echoing in his ears. Dib reached out blindly for his glasses, and found them on his bedside table. As he put them on and gauged some sense of reality, he realized something wasn’t right. Dib couldn’t tell what it was until he read the time on the clock. 2:34 a.m. He didn’t dream of the sounds of catastrophe, they were coming from right outside his house. 

He threw open the blinds to see the source. Countless trucks labeled FBI and black cars flooded the driveway. Workers in hazmat wear and mysterious, black suits congregated. Dib noticed that a handful of them were discussing something with his father. A group of men in hazmat suits looked busy restraining something in the driveway, and Dib squinted, looking closer. They had Zim in chains, and were trying to shove him into a cage. Dib panicked and jumped out of his bed. He went to throw open his door, but it was locked from the outside. He pushed again, then harder again, and again. No use. He slammed his fists on the door and screamed.

“FUCK!!!!”

“Bad men.”

Dib jumped, startled, and Gir rolled out from under his bed. A wave of relief washed over Dib and he crouched down next to the robot, who was quietly sobbing.

“Gir, hey listen, what happened??” He put a hand gently on Gir’s shoulder.

Gir sniffled, “My master, the science man saw him. He had a bad feeling, so he told me to go hide in here. He tried running but they caught him! The bad men caught my master!” And he wailed.

Dib turned a little pale, “Shh shh hey, Gir, focus. Why is the door jammed??”

“I think the bad men did that. They wanted to keep you away.”

Dib sighed, aggravated, and nodded. He quickly sprung to his feet and paced around his room, looking for anything of use. A small hammer sat on his desk from old projects that made their way out of the garage and into his room. Without hesitation he began bashing the door around the handle, breaking the wood and loosening the lock. Dib backed up after a moment and body slammed the door, bruising himself, sending a long crack up the middle of it. He kicked it down the rest of the way until there was a hole big enough to crawl out of, and cut his shoulder on a jagged splinter on his way out. He ran down the hall like his life depended on it, and jumped down the stairs, landing awkwardly on his knees. He pushed through the pain and flew out the front door, towards the truck where they were busy loading the now caged alien. As he burst through the house, the men in black suits instantly rushed to restrain the boy.

“LET HIM GO LET HIM GO!!!!” Dib thrashed against the three that held him back, but he wasn’t physically able to escape their grasp. His eyes met Zim’s, and they held contact for as long as they could, until the truck’s door blocked their view of each other.

“Where are you taking him?? He’s not here to hurt anybody!! He was abandoned by his own kind a-and—“

Dib’s father walked over, and the men holding Dib back let go. Dib stared at his father, looking for any form of remorse or motivation.

“Dib, I would like to apologize for all the years I doubted you. You were right. Your friend is actually—“

“An alien. An awful lot of help that does me now.”

“I saw it in it’s true form in my bathroom.”

“So you called the fucking FBI??? He’s harmless!!!”

“I could not risk anything happening to you or Gazeline!” Membrane put his hands on Dib’s shoulders, “When you’re a parent you will understand.”

“You know nothing,” Dib spat.

An authoritative figure made a call, and everyone began to pack up. Professor Membrane kept his hands on his son’s shoulders to keep the boy in place as agents drove away. Dib watched the truck containing Zim carefully. It began to roll off, and he choked out a sob. When Membrane deemed that the scene was far enough, he let his son go. Dib bolted down the street the moment he was set free, and chased the armada of secret service vehicles until he couldn’t run anymore.

Dib didn’t go back to sleep after that. His father brought him inside, fixed him a cup of warm milk tea, and a blanket to calm the boy’s state of shock. They sat together in the living room. No one spoke. Membrane sipped his own cup off coffee, and Dib tapped his legs feverishly. He couldn’t let his mind wonder of what the workers of Area 51 could be doing to him. It made his stomach turn. He wished he could break from his husk of a body and burn down the entire world searching for Zim. His father cleared his throat, and broke the silence.

“As terrifying that creature was, it truly was fascinating. Who knows what other monsters lurk under our very noses,” he spoke, trying to rise Dib from his depressive state. Dib said nothing.

Membrane tried again, “I cannot believe that ignorance prevented me from realizing this sooner. You and your brilliant mind could be the new frontier of science, son.”

Still, Dib said nothing. He stared blankly into the mug, letting his tea turn cold.

The professor gave it one last try, “Father and son, working side by side in the name of science! How does that sound? Hunting for more creatures like that one and then bringing it back to the lab to study it.”

“That creature is my friend,” Dib said quietly.

Membrane deflated a little.

“It could have been plotting to—“

“He’s harmless and he is my friend!” Dib snapped.

They looked at each other carefully.

“He is my friend and he is bold and passionate and full of personality! He was there for me when you weren’t and is the only one who has ever fucking understood me. Does that make me an alien too dad, huh? Huh?? Does it??? You just keep making decisions for people without even realizing the consequences! Well, contrary to popular belief dad, news flash! Not everything you do is smart!!!!”

Dib had to take a moment to catch his breath. He had been keeping that pent up for a very long time. Professor Membrane looked to the ground.

“I don’t know what I’m doing...”

Dib furrowed his eyebrows, but let the man speak.

“I was never supposed to be a single parent, you know. I was supposed to be able to travel freely with my career and your mother would stay home and care for you two. But your mother...” Membrane took off his goggles and rubbed his eyes, “When she was diagnosed, that was the first time in my life where I felt out of control. I halted my work and started the cause to search for a cure. She deteriorated too fast, I didn’t have enough time. I debated a time machine, but the technology was still too experimental, and I didn’t want the timeline to have something bad happen to you or Gaz instead. So I submerged myself in my work, and focused on the things I can control. I should have been here for you and your sister more. I thought, ‘I’m a brilliant scientist, being a single parent will be easy!’ There is nothing scientific about raising you two.”

Dib felt a lump in his throat. He looked into his father’s eyes and was reminded of how human this man was.

“What would your mother think of me now..?” Membrane ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, distressed.

Dib responded softly, “I think she would have a few things to say. Like, ‘Don’t wear your lab boots in the house.”

Membrane chuckled, and Dib continued, “She would be proud of you for being so strong, but she would also want you to be comfortable with things that you can’t control. Gaz and I for instance, we’re not robots. We’re going to do our own things, and want a relationship with our dad.”

The man smiled, watery eyed, and he said with pride, “Your mother would be astounded with the man that you turned out to be.”

Those words stung, but in a good way. Dib needed to hear them. He allowed a few tears to roll down his cheeks, and he wiped them away.

“Thank you dad.”

“You want your alien back? Go get him, I won’t stop you.”

Dib nodded quickly, and on a second wind, jumped up from his seat. He ran upstairs with a determined will and quickly dressed into something other than pajamas, then headed to the garage where Tak’s old voot was waiting for him. It was very dusty, and took a moment to reboot and start up. As he worked on the light faults, preparing it for flight, the garage door opened. Dib squinted, eyes adjusting to the light. Gaz stood in the doorway with Gir at her feet. She gave her brother a knowing look.

“What are you doing? It's like four in the morning?” Dib asked, a stressed crease in his brow.

“Dad told me what’s going on. You’re gonna go get him?”

Dib nodded, “I have to.”

“I know,” she hesitated, “You know you’re not going to be able to come back here, right? This will be the first place they check when you two escape.”

Dib paused the launch instructions and walked over to his sister, “I promise I’ll see you again. We could probably hide out in Ziggy’s van and you can visit us whenever. That guy evades the government everyday, I don’t think he’s ever paid his taxes.”

Gaz smiled despite her sorrow, “That sounds nice.”

Gir hugged Dib’s leg, “I’m gonna miss you Mary! Good luck in Hollywood!”

Dib and Gaz looked at each other, confused, but laughed anyways. Dib pat Gir’s head, comforting the little robot. Gaz unexpectedly pulled her brother into a tight hug, and Dib hugged back.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she said, pressing her face into his chest.

“I won’t. Take care of dad and Gir. Don’t let anyone take that robot away, it’s what Zim would have wanted.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

Dib pulled away and held his sister by the arms, looking down at her with pride. He picked up Gir and placed him in her hands, then turned to the voot and started the launch. He was no skilled pilot, the takeoff was rough, but soon he was in the air, on the way to rescue the little green fucker that he cared for so dearly.

“Hang on Zim, I’m coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckin dramatic ass chapter. it only gets worse from here lmao


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge warning for gore things get gnarly!!!

The metal was cold against Zim’s naked back. He had been stripped of his clothes and dignity, strapped to a surgery table so tightly that he couldn’t deploy his PAK without cutting his limbs off, and had already undergone a series of tests. He was poked, prodded, and went through numerous ct scans. It wasn’t all bad, his vivisection wasn’t until a few more days. He overheard the scientists discussing his anatomy and his fate from the other side of the room. They hypothesized the functions of his various alien organs.

“...and this seems to be a sort of esophagus.”

“That is very possible, but then why does it connect to these assumed to be respiratory glands.”

“But how can those be lungs if it connects to the anal canal?”

Zim rolled his eyes, “You stink-brained humans are fools!”

The three scientists snapped towards the restrained alien.

“It sounds like you’re observing my squeedily spooch, which is a total invasion of privacy but it’s not like you give a Vort’s ass about that, given that you strapped me here naked to your primitive Urth table. Do you not know of hygiene!? This place is highly unsanitary! I can practically feel the germs crawling on my flesh husk!!”

One of the scientists grabbed the taser that was used to subdue Zim earlier, and they let off a menacing spark. Zim swallowed dryly.

“L-look, you want to know about my squeedily spooch, yes? It is a filtration system for air and snacks that powers my entire body. I can inform you about my anatomy, it’s functions, my society, everything! You don’t have to slice me open to learn,” he laughed nervously.

The scientists talked among themselves, and the tallest one spoke, “Your impending doom will come depending on how well you cooperate here. We will keep you alive as long as we need you. How about you tell us of your freak society while we perfume the vivisection? That could save us a lot of time and a lot of anesthesia. Sound good? No? Then stop talking, we can make this way more uncomfortable for you.”

Zim went pale, and he nodded. The scientists agreed among themselves that they should do their discussions out of earshot. They collected their paperwork and shuffled out of the room. Zim could hear the door lock behind them with a resounding clank. 

All he could do was stare at the ceiling and wonder if Gir was okay. The robot wasn’t bright, but he cared for him dearly, and hoped his instructions to hide were clear enough. He thought about Professor Membrane. This could have all been easily avoided if Zim remembered to lock the door that connected to the professor’s room. He didn’t have to worry about that until the guy unexpectedly showed back up home. That man was clearly so desperate for approval from his son that he sent Zim to his doom. So good to know that the Dib-thing hadn’t gotten his crazy from his mom’s side. He thought about Gaz. Zim had finally met humans that scared him more than her, and they were in the other room, getting off to the thought of spilling his guts. Gaz had demonstrated how to fight the system through meaningless acts of shoplifting and vandalism. He wouldn’t be the independent spirit he is today without her terrifying influence. Most of all, Zim thought about Dib. At the very least, maybe now people would take the boy seriously. Dib could get credit for his life’s work, and his future was clearly bright. But Zim missed him. It hurt how much one could care about another being. Being apart from him after having spent everyday with him for months felt like a hunger that couldn’t be satisfied. It felt as if a limb was ripped off, and even if it wasn’t there to begin with, he wondered how he ever functioned without it at all. Zim didn’t like who he was without Dib. He was a lost soul, constantly looking for validation. Dib had all the answers he ever needed. Even though he had only just seen him at an awkward dinner table eating egg rolls, the fact that he would never see him again hurt his head. Tears filled his eyes, and he shut them tightly.

Zim felt crumbs hit his bare belly, and his eyes shot open. Dust and debris were falling from a panel in the ceiling as it was moved aside. Zim recognized the source instantly.

“Dib-smell!” Zim cried out softly, concerned that they would be caught.

Dib peaked his head down and spotted a security camera pointed at Zim. Quickly, he pulled out an Irken laser gun and took it out. Dib was not a very good shot, it took him two tries to destroy it. Then, he threw a rope down. Zim squirmed anxiously in the straps that held his arms at his sides and his legs together.

“Why did you come?? You’ve doomed yourself, you fool!!”

Dib climbed down to Zim’s side and instantly started unhooking the restraints.

“You think I was going to let you get away that easy? You’ve always been my case, fuck the government for trying to steal it from me. Plus, you owe me a trip to space, remember?” Dib let a smile spread across his face as he freed Zim.

The moment he was free the Irken flew into Dib’s arms, and the two shared a tight embrace. Zim was the first to kiss him. It was a desperate kiss that meant more than the boys were capable of explaining verbally. In short, they never wanted to lose each other ever again.

Dib pulled away, “Are you okay??”

“Well besides being stripped of all of my gravitas and treated like some kind of testing Vort, Zim is perfect!”

“Jesus yeah they really stripped you down. The bastards. Here,” and Dib swiftly took off his trench coat and handed it to Zim. He took it graciously.

“Ugh, have you ever washed this thing?” Zim complained.

“Quickly, we don’t have a lot of time,” and Dib started to awkwardly climb the road he threw down. Zim rolled his eyes and deployed his PAK, grabbing Dib and pulling them into the ceiling’s crawlspace. They closed the panel behind them. 

It was a tight squeeze, but Dib knew his way. The human boy led them through the metal pipes, guided by a small monitor on his wrist. Zim couldn’t complain about the complete ass shot he was given as he crawled behind Dib.

“How on Irk did you even find me??”

Dib turned a corner, and Zim followed, “Oh please, I’ve spent so much time studying Area 51 that it wasn’t that hard. Besides, the voot can track Irken heat signatures across the entire planet.”

“You brought the voot?”

Before Dib could answer, sirens went off, alerting them that they were no longer escaping in secret.

Dib winced, “Shit. Uhh it’s fine, we’re almost there. I crawled in here through a vent after jumping a fence and parking the voot in the nearby woods.”

“How graceful was that landing off the fence?” Zim raised an eyebrow.

“Not important.”

They reached the end of the vent, and Dib carefully unscrewed it.

“Okay the moment I open this, we’re going to have to run like hell.”

“Allow me to carry you.”

“No no don’t do that, I’m fast enough I’ll only slow your PAK legs down.”

Zim had no say in the matter. Before his response could escape his lips, Dib was already opening the vent and hopping down into the open stretch of land between the building and the fence. It was a good fifty feet, Zim knew he could make it. It was Dib he was worried about. He hopped down next to him and did exactly as he instructed. He ran like hell.

It didn’t take long for agents to find them. Eleven men dressed in black suits burst from a nearby door and spoted them making a run for it. Gunshots sounded, and Zim screamed. He instantaneously picked up the pace, and the fence got closer and closer. He looked back at Dib who was right behind him. They reached the fence in record time.

Zim spoke quickly, “Okay I’m going to carry you now.”

Dib looked pale, and sweat beaded on his forehead, “Yeah yeah just hurry.”

Zim looked the human over, concerned. Dib’s hand was pressed firmly on his stomach, and he pulled it away to look at his palm. Blood coated his entire hand. Dib was shot. Zim watched the crimson stain grow on his poor blue shirt. Zim lost all sense of reality, and looked over to the quickly approaching troops. Irkens were a conquering species for a reason. They were predators. This primal violence had been in him this whole time. Only now did he let himself snap. Zim couldn’t tell when he lunged at the men with guns, but he felt each time his talons ripped open their throats, blood painting the grass like a spray can. He felt each time he bit off a chunk of their faces, human flesh had the texture of rubber and tasted of salt and iron. He felt each time a PAK leg stabbed a hole through their abdomens or decapitated them, the smell of the life leaving their bodies couldn’t have been more satisfyingly pathetic. He killed every last one of them.

Dib watched the scene in horror. He was in a state of shock. He thought it was funny that he was the one shot, he was clearly the easier target. He had such a big head and Zim was so small. He thought how this would be the story he would base his autobiography off of, and it would sell like hot cakes. The title would be something eye catching. ‘Paranormal Normalcy’. He liked the sound of that. It rang through his head as he hit the ground. Dib was dying, bleeding out from the stomach. How in the name of all that is good and holy did they miss his comically large head? He rolled his head to the side so he could watch the creature he loved most in this world avenge his downfall. He couldn’t hear anything really, just what sounded like an engine. He didn’t want to die at age sixteen, but the hero’s journey is nothing less than tragic. Dib blinked, and Zim hovered above him. He blinked, and he was being carried through the woods by metallic legs and small, green hands. He shut his eyes once more, and didn’t open them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah. that happened. i love how this chapter turned out i’m ngl. the saying that all writers are sadists may be true :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING??? I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS SINCE MARCH AND IT IS NOW LATE JULY

The engine sound persisted. It was actually really annoying. What was worse was the shooting pain in his side. It took all the strength in his skinny frame to realize that he was still alive, and even more strength to open his eyes. Dib saw stars. Thousands of them. He felt weightless, yet he didn’t move anywhere. Maybe he really was dead and this was the afterlife. Or maybe he had been reincarnated as a star. The sharp pain confirmed that he was alive, and he churned a little. He brought a hand to the source of the pain, and realized his torso was bare and bandaged. 

His sense of touch brought him back to materiality, and he realized he had been looking at the stars through the window. His head lazily turned, and he saw the Irken piloting the ship next to him. Zim was dressed in an invader’s uniform, and had a concentrated expression. It all made sense now. The past four years were a dream. Dib was Zim’s twelve year old prisoner, on their way back to Irk. Dib looked down at his bandaged torso, and one key element refuted that fantasy. His symmetrical chest scars that he wore like trophies. He was sixteen years old and had successfully escaped Area 51 with his alien. Now they were flying through outer space. 

“Wait what..?” Dib sat up quicker than he should have, and he held his head.

Zim jumped and yelped, then put the voot in autopilot, “Never do that you should never scare me while I’m flying you scared the spooch out of me!!!”

“What, augh jesus my head...”

Zim sighed and decided to be patient, “You’ve been asleep for almost three days, I’m glad you’re okay. There’s plenty of time for me to explain, please, relax.”

Zim brought a gentle hand to Dib’s cheek, and the weak boy leaned into the touch.

Dib breathed carefully, “What did I miss..?”

“When we made it to the voot I thought you were dead. I panicked and flew us off Urth, out of the sight of any satellites. I had to remove the bullet from you. It was an easy procedure thanks to the Irken first aid kit. Thank Irk you never raided the compartments of this voot, we have everything we need here. Provisions, first aid, clean uniforms,” and he gestured to his getup.

Dib looked him over, not so casually, “Yeah you uhh, you look nice.”

The compliment fed straight into Zim’s ego. Dib turned back to the window of the voot and gazed out into space. He’s pretty sure this made him the youngest astronaut on Earth. It was even more magnificent than he could imagine, he felt like he could just fall into it. It was just as alluring as the deep sea, and even more terrifying.

“This is...wow,” Dib was breathless. He looked around, wondering if he could recognize any of the Milky Way’s planets from here. But nothing looked familiar. After studying space for so long, he wondered why he was so displaced. After a moment of worried searching, he realized he had no idea where the hell they were.

“Zim...”

“Yes?”

“Where is Earth!?”

Zim inhaled sharply through his teeth, “Well you see... It is millions of light years away.”

Dib’s heart dropped to his stomach. He tried not to panic. Panicking made his wound hurt. Zim noticed this and tried to console him.

“Dib you must understand. Urth’s first alien just escaped with the son of a nationally known scientist. We cannot hide there, we will be most definitely caught! We need to stay hidden in space at least until things simmer down on your dirt home world. Consider this a, ehh, temporary living arrangement,” Zim smiled awkwardly.

Dib sighed, thinking this over, “Let me get this straight. We are fugitives of now two planets.”

“Essentially.”

“So that makes us interstellar nomads.”

“That’s right.”

“That’s kind of badass,” Dib let himself smirk.

Zim grew giddy, “We could easily find a new planet to call our home. Your puny human meat brain could not imagine how many alien civilizations exist. Countless worlds, Dib, with countless stars! We could take our sweet sweet time picking a planet to stay.”

“Or,” Dib raised an eyebrow, “we could become fugitives of even more planets. I think we could do better than two.”

Zim cackled maniacally, a sound Dib had missed oh so much.

“Is there a galactic federation we could piss off? Or a revolution we can start? I’m feeling pretty lucky right now. I survived a bullet to the gut,” Dib added with pride.

Zim calmed his laughter, “Oh you bold, courageous fool. We can do whatever the hell we want.”

Dib chuckled and leaned forward, kissing every section of Zim’s face. Zim made a grossed out noise, but he enjoyed the praise. He took the human boy’s hand and gently kissed each knuckle. Dib looked out the window of the voot, then back to Zim, who smiled as if Dib were more spectacular than anything space could offer.

Dib smiled back, “Let’s fucking do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cannot express how grateful i am for all of the support ive gotten on this fic. thank u so so much for reading. posting this last chapter is kinda bittersweet i’m ngl. this has been my quarantine project. i wanna know who made it all the way through this hellishly long fic so if u did pls comment :)) <3  
> follow my social media’s for more iz content!


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